You really want to change something about yourself, some character trait that you just plain don't like. So you take a little time to learn how to go about the change, and then you start trying to do things differently. Maybe you have a few times where you are able to do the new thing you want, but you find yourself plagued by the desire to just do what seems to come naturally. You might even find that you do slip back into what you've always done before, and you end up kicking yourself for not being stronger, or for your failure.
Trying to change a pattern or habit is very difficult. It gets much harder when it comes to something that we seem to be "wired" for. Over the past few days, I've been using the example of someone who has the characteristic of avoiding conflict, but who wants to learn how to actually engage in it constructively.
So this is how today's thought applies. You've learned a few things about how to handle conflict constructively. You've even found a few times to try out what you have learned, and they didn't go badly. In a way, you may have been surprised that things actually worked, though you have to admit that your stomach was churning the whole time. You were really nervous, and you thought that it might go away after one or two successful times. But you still find your stomach in knots when you think about confronting something in a conflict situation.
So then it happens. You give in to that feeling. Rather than engage in the conflict that comes your way, you avoid it. You give in to the other person, even though you know it's wrong. Now you feel like a failure in addition to your fear of conflict. All your work and preparation seems for naught. You may even start to think that you should just give up.
For some reason, we humans have a tendency to think that, if we don't do something perfectly the first time, that we should just give up. And yet, that is a completely false thought. None of us are able to do things well without working on them or practicing them. Even people who seem to have natural talents in areas have to work to further develop those skills. And the same thing goes with changing our character.
I would argue that this is where the help and support of another person or other people is vital. God did not make us to go through things alone, but gave us a community in order to give strength and support. It's only our stubborn pride which thinks that we can do it all by ourselves. And quite often, just knowing that we have others to help makes it a little less difficult to bring about that change in life.
So, back to the example. You go ask two of your friends if they will help you by keeping you accountable when it comes to learning how to deal with the conflicts that arise in your life. They agree to ask you how you responded, and maybe even to walk you through how the discussion might go. They will also be there to understand when you fail to live up to the new standard you are trying to create, but will also not just let you get away with it.
Believe it or not, sometimes just knowing that you will have to tell someone else about your encounter gives you the courage to press forward. It might actually be easier to go through the confrontation rather than have to let your friends know that you failed. Bringing others in to give you help and assistance does not take away the possibility of failure, but can give you the means and motivation to make the changes that you are after.
Trying to change a pattern or habit is very difficult. It gets much harder when it comes to something that we seem to be "wired" for. Over the past few days, I've been using the example of someone who has the characteristic of avoiding conflict, but who wants to learn how to actually engage in it constructively.
So this is how today's thought applies. You've learned a few things about how to handle conflict constructively. You've even found a few times to try out what you have learned, and they didn't go badly. In a way, you may have been surprised that things actually worked, though you have to admit that your stomach was churning the whole time. You were really nervous, and you thought that it might go away after one or two successful times. But you still find your stomach in knots when you think about confronting something in a conflict situation.
So then it happens. You give in to that feeling. Rather than engage in the conflict that comes your way, you avoid it. You give in to the other person, even though you know it's wrong. Now you feel like a failure in addition to your fear of conflict. All your work and preparation seems for naught. You may even start to think that you should just give up.
For some reason, we humans have a tendency to think that, if we don't do something perfectly the first time, that we should just give up. And yet, that is a completely false thought. None of us are able to do things well without working on them or practicing them. Even people who seem to have natural talents in areas have to work to further develop those skills. And the same thing goes with changing our character.
I would argue that this is where the help and support of another person or other people is vital. God did not make us to go through things alone, but gave us a community in order to give strength and support. It's only our stubborn pride which thinks that we can do it all by ourselves. And quite often, just knowing that we have others to help makes it a little less difficult to bring about that change in life.
So, back to the example. You go ask two of your friends if they will help you by keeping you accountable when it comes to learning how to deal with the conflicts that arise in your life. They agree to ask you how you responded, and maybe even to walk you through how the discussion might go. They will also be there to understand when you fail to live up to the new standard you are trying to create, but will also not just let you get away with it.
Believe it or not, sometimes just knowing that you will have to tell someone else about your encounter gives you the courage to press forward. It might actually be easier to go through the confrontation rather than have to let your friends know that you failed. Bringing others in to give you help and assistance does not take away the possibility of failure, but can give you the means and motivation to make the changes that you are after.
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