Up to this point in this series on character, I've been treating the thought that character is a neutral thing. In other words, we come to be known for certain things in our lives, which define our character. From that standpoint, character is neutral. To use an example I have been using throughout, we avoid conflict, or we find some level of comfort in dealing with conflict. In and of itself, our reaction is neutral.
However, when we look at the character of others, or even our own, or when others see our character, we tend to label that character as good or bad. We might say that the person who avoids conflict has bad character, whereas the one who deals with it is good (and the one who seeks out conflict because they enjoy it, well, many would probably say that's bad, too). But here is the question for today. How do we determine what kind of character is good and what is bad?
Quite often, I believe that we do this based upon our own character. In my ongoing example, a family that has developed and avoids conflict would probably find someone who is comfortable with it as bad, especially should that person point out an area or two where this family perhaps should talk about their differences, and not merely avoid them. On the other hand, a family that develops their ways of dealing with conflict might seem bad to a person who was taught to avoid conflict. That might seem overly stressful. And many others might look at the person that seems to seek out conflict and think it's bad that this person never can seem to let anything go, but seems to have to make their point at almost everything that comes along.
But is there a better place to look than our own personal experience when it comes to defining what good character is, and what constitutes bad character? I would suggest that we look to the God who made all things, which includes us, and includes not only our character, but who knows what perfect character is. And yet, I have to admit that even this can be somewhat confusing. After all, we might look at different places in, say, Proverbs in the Bible, and we see that it says things like "so quit before a quarrel breaks out" (Proverbs 17:14) and "whoever heeds reproof is prudent" (Proverbs 15:5), and we may wonder, which is better, to avoid the conflict, or to engage in it to better the person?
I would suggest that God actually intends something even greater than mere specific verses to apply to any particular situation. When it comes to defining "good" character or "bad", I would suggest that character which demonstrates love for one's neighbor would be "good" character. And that is not always a cut and dried thing. Sometimes it's more loving to pass over something that causes conflict, perhaps like a minor thing that is a one time occurrence. At other times, it's more loving to speak up to the person, especially if the thing they are doing is hurtful to themselves or others. Love for our neighbor, and not something from our own selfish desires, probably should be the criteria for determining if character is good or bad.
We'll talk more on this subject on Monday. In the meantime, have a blessed day of worship tomorrow!
However, when we look at the character of others, or even our own, or when others see our character, we tend to label that character as good or bad. We might say that the person who avoids conflict has bad character, whereas the one who deals with it is good (and the one who seeks out conflict because they enjoy it, well, many would probably say that's bad, too). But here is the question for today. How do we determine what kind of character is good and what is bad?
Quite often, I believe that we do this based upon our own character. In my ongoing example, a family that has developed and avoids conflict would probably find someone who is comfortable with it as bad, especially should that person point out an area or two where this family perhaps should talk about their differences, and not merely avoid them. On the other hand, a family that develops their ways of dealing with conflict might seem bad to a person who was taught to avoid conflict. That might seem overly stressful. And many others might look at the person that seems to seek out conflict and think it's bad that this person never can seem to let anything go, but seems to have to make their point at almost everything that comes along.
But is there a better place to look than our own personal experience when it comes to defining what good character is, and what constitutes bad character? I would suggest that we look to the God who made all things, which includes us, and includes not only our character, but who knows what perfect character is. And yet, I have to admit that even this can be somewhat confusing. After all, we might look at different places in, say, Proverbs in the Bible, and we see that it says things like "so quit before a quarrel breaks out" (Proverbs 17:14) and "whoever heeds reproof is prudent" (Proverbs 15:5), and we may wonder, which is better, to avoid the conflict, or to engage in it to better the person?
I would suggest that God actually intends something even greater than mere specific verses to apply to any particular situation. When it comes to defining "good" character or "bad", I would suggest that character which demonstrates love for one's neighbor would be "good" character. And that is not always a cut and dried thing. Sometimes it's more loving to pass over something that causes conflict, perhaps like a minor thing that is a one time occurrence. At other times, it's more loving to speak up to the person, especially if the thing they are doing is hurtful to themselves or others. Love for our neighbor, and not something from our own selfish desires, probably should be the criteria for determining if character is good or bad.
We'll talk more on this subject on Monday. In the meantime, have a blessed day of worship tomorrow!
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