Okay, so you have identified something about yourself, some characteristic, that you want to change. You spend the time learning how to change, working on the change. You fight through the setbacks and start to intentionally bring out the characteristic you want to be known for. However, that's when you start to hit another obstacle: other people's expectations.
We as humans do not change quickly, and that goes for how we perceive others when they change. We think that they will always be the same person that we have known. So, when someone does something differently, the first few times, we may be somewhat surprised at them, but figure that they will go back to normal before too long. Then, if they persist in the new character for a while, we find ourselves in an uncomfortable position, that of having to change our view and thoughts of them.
That change does not happen easily. If you talk to the family of an alcoholic, one of the toughest tasks for the recovering person is having others change their expectations and behaviors. In so many ways, we sort of form ourselves around that person's behavior or character, and then, when they change, we have a lot of things that have to change as well. But we may not want to change. It's easier to hope that the other person will change back to what they were before.
How do you deal with these, for lack of a better word, doubters? That can be tough, especially since some of them are likely ones that you look to for support in the change. Helping them to see your seriousness in changing can help. Share with them the things that they do which hinder your change, and emphasize how important it is to you that they do this with you. These are truly some of the ways that we show love and care for others.
This time may seem the most difficult to the person who is trying to make the character change. It can truly seem like the whole world is against you, even those who are close to you. I have a thought that this may be the kind of suffering and endurance that Paul was talking about when he said that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character. So my encouragement is to hang in there, and work with those in your life who may be your support, but also some of your greatest challenges.
We as humans do not change quickly, and that goes for how we perceive others when they change. We think that they will always be the same person that we have known. So, when someone does something differently, the first few times, we may be somewhat surprised at them, but figure that they will go back to normal before too long. Then, if they persist in the new character for a while, we find ourselves in an uncomfortable position, that of having to change our view and thoughts of them.
That change does not happen easily. If you talk to the family of an alcoholic, one of the toughest tasks for the recovering person is having others change their expectations and behaviors. In so many ways, we sort of form ourselves around that person's behavior or character, and then, when they change, we have a lot of things that have to change as well. But we may not want to change. It's easier to hope that the other person will change back to what they were before.
How do you deal with these, for lack of a better word, doubters? That can be tough, especially since some of them are likely ones that you look to for support in the change. Helping them to see your seriousness in changing can help. Share with them the things that they do which hinder your change, and emphasize how important it is to you that they do this with you. These are truly some of the ways that we show love and care for others.
This time may seem the most difficult to the person who is trying to make the character change. It can truly seem like the whole world is against you, even those who are close to you. I have a thought that this may be the kind of suffering and endurance that Paul was talking about when he said that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character. So my encouragement is to hang in there, and work with those in your life who may be your support, but also some of your greatest challenges.
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