Tuesday, July 1, 2014

What Exactly is Empathy?

In walking through Paul's letter to the Ephesian Christians, one cannot help but notice the way that Paul relates with his fellow Christians there.  If you read through, you will find Paul repeatedly using "we" and "us" and "our" as his pronouns.  Paul is making a point very clearly in this.  The Ephesian Christians are united with their fellow Christians of all makes and models, regardless of things such as their religious backgrounds, ethnic background, nationality, or language.

As Paul goes to great lengths to explain this, he also does something else.  He levels the playing field, so to speak.  As Christians, we simply cannot make others out to be "more sinful" than we are.  Paul does this very well in the first few verses of chatper 2 in the letter to the Ephesians.  He writes, in verse three, that "we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind..." 

I think Paul is really onto something here that we, as Christians living in our day and age, would be wise to consider.  We are just the same as those who are not Christians, at least in the respect that we have a sinful nature like they do.  We might want to point out that our sins are "less" in some way than theirs, but Paul simply won't let us do that.  He says that we all lived in the passions of our flesh.  We all carried out the desires of the body and of the mind.

Instead of pointing out how much better we are than others, it seems that Paul would point out to us that empathizing with others in our shared sinfulness is a far better approach.  When we empathize with another, we bring ourselves down to their level, rather than expecting them to raise themselves up to ours.  We show that we have the same starting point in God's eyes.  We show that we deserve the very same thing that we are telling them they deserve.  We empathize, and in doing so, we show that we have something in common with them.

Is this a comfortable confession to make?  By no means!  We hate to sit down with the habitual liar and admit that we also have lying tendencies.  We hate to sit down with the adulterer and admit that we have lustful tendencies.  We hate to sit down with the habitual gossiper and admit that we ourselves have not always painted others in the best of lights.  It's uncomfortable, and yet, what better place is there to start approaching the Gospel message from than our shared beginning point with God?

Empathy isn't just some strong emotion we feel toward others.  It involves actually relating to them where they are.  It means we must look at ourselves with humility, ready to confess and ask for forgiveness as necessary.  It means that we simply cannot look down on others in their sin, but rather, we relate to them in their sin.

Is this a guarantee for the entrance of the Gospel message?  Not at all.  But I will say this.  It's probably a much better starting point than looking down on them would be.  Easy?  No.  But then, when does God ever tell us that He expects things to be easy and carefree for us as His people?

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