Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Compassion: The Wound that Never Heals

"But one of the soldiers pierced his side with a spear, and at once there came out blood and water."  John 19:34

"And Jesus, looking at him, loved him, and said to him, 'You lack one thing: go, sell all that you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven, and come, follow me.'"  Mark 10:21

"And between the throne and the four living creatures and among the elders I saw a Lamb standing, as though it had been slain..."  Revelation 5:6

I cannot tell you the exact time it happened, but I know it happened quite a while ago.  In ministering in the name of Jesus, a pastor has many, many opportunties where his heart gets opened up to someone in need of compassion.  He sees a person or family hurting, and his heart goes out to them.  He feels the heartache that they feel.  It becomes his own as he walks through the situation with them, or as he watches them go through it.

I myself have had this happen any number of times over the 13 years that I have been a pastor.  And I remember one of the early temptations that I had.  I don't remember the specific situation, but I had undoubtedly gone through a tough time with someone.  I had seen the hurt in their life, and I had felt it myself.  (Perhaps this points to one of my strengths and weaknesses, I get too attached, too close, and take their pain upon myself.)

After watching their struggle, I remember this part fairly clearly.  I realized that I could protect myself.  I could limit my exposure to their pain, and perhaps keep myself from hurting so badly through their struggle.  It would seem to save a great deal of heartache on my part.  It would mean that I could walk through the situation with them, but I would have to remain somewhat detached and apart from them.

I realized that doing this could save me a lot of heartache and pain.  And I distinctly remember choosing that, in the future, I wouldn't do that.  I would not choose to limit my pain in the interactions I would have with God's people as they struggled.  I would feel their heartache and pain.  Like Jesus, in the second verse above that I listed out, I would love them, even if it meant hurt and pain for me.

Compassion is a wound that never heals.  Now, I don't have the same vision as that which John had, either of Jesus on the cross or in the Revelation of Jesus.  But John sees Jesus as the lamb who was slain.  We're not told specifically, but you would imagine that the spear thrust into the side of Jesus went up into His heart.  In the vision that John saw, it would seem that the wound was not healed, but remained.  Jesus even presented it to His disciples following His resurrection.

While this may be somewhat of an metaphorical reach, I would go so far as to suggest that Jesus' heart remaining open like that is a sign that God's compassion never stops.  The wound of compassion never heals.  God does not separate from us in our pain.  He feels it most keenly and deeply.  And His servants often find that the sharing of the message of Good News happens when they feel the same pain as God's people.

Over the years, I have shared in the pain of many of God's people.  Like I said, I chose not to keep myself detached from it, but to walk through it.  And yes, sometimes I even do that without their knowing it.  It hurts, but in the end, I would rather be able to relate to their pain, and to be able to show that I am walking through it with them, rather than be detached, and have my words and actions ring more hollow than true. 

Compassion is a wound that never heals.  We never will arrive at a place where compassion is unnecessary in this world.  We may shut our heart off from feeling compassion, but in my mind, that cuts us off from truly relating to others.  Even if it means heartache, I pray that my heart will always be open to showing compassion.

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