Thursday, September 5, 2013

The Listening Ear

"Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips he is deemed intelligent."  Proverbs 17:28

"Better to keep your mouth closed and have people think you a fool than to open your mouth and prove it."  Unknown

Some conversations stand out in the mind more than others.  I remember one that happened in my past.  I was talking with a person over a disagreement we had, and I found myself getting frustrated.  It seemed as though every time I would start to say something, I would get cut off.  The other person wouldn't even let me finish what I was saying much of the time.  It really came across to me as though my words weren't important to them, and that their words carried far more weight. 

Perhaps you've had an experience like this before, too.  I tend to liken it to a lack of proper listening skills (and even perhaps a lack of conversational skills).  The one who is so impatient to say what's on their mind that they can't wait until the other person even finishes what they are saying can be a very frustrating thing. 

Yet, one thing that stands out in God's Word is the encouragement to be a far better listener than speaker.  It's almost as though God would have us use our ears far more frequently than He would have us use our mouths.  The trouble is, listening requires work and effort.  It takes far less effort to say whatever pops into our heads.  And to not merely listen, but to strive to understand what the other person is saying?  Well, that takes even greater effort, an effort which few seem willing to try.

This fall I'll be spending quite a bit of time on here talking about conflict, confrontation, and confession and forgiveness.  It shouldn't come as a surprise that one of the matters that I will continually circle around on will involve being a good listener.  Being a good listener requires work and effort, and yet, few things will endear you to others than being a good listener.

Why not take a conversation you find yourself engaged in today, and practice really trying to understand what the other person is saying, rather than planning out your responses?  See how it changes the conversation.  What does it do to your mind as you attempt to listen, and to keep the mouth closed?

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