Mad at the World

Have you ever had one of those days where you were mad, but you had a hard time figuring out everything you were mad at?  Something one of your friends did or said ticked you off, you got cut off on the road, your neighbor let his leaves blow in your yard, the kids in the neighborhood were being loud, the President interrupted your favorite TV show, the dog knocked over your glass, and a thousand other small things all seem to contribute to a general sense of madness, but you can't really point to one thing as THE thing that you are mad at.

I've noticed this on the part of a lot of people.  They are mad, but they can't really tell you what they are mad at.  It's like a lot of little things have gotten under their skin, and they can't really point to one thing.  And, since they can't find that one thing and deal with it, they just stay mad, not knowing what to do about it.

I find this distressing for a number of reasons.  One of the reasons is that this isn't good for our health, either physically or spiritually.  From a physical standpoint, being mad or angry for extended periods of time lead to things like higher blood pressure, more stress, and causes a great deal of fatigue.  It's hard to stay mad.  It takes a lot of energy and work, and so someone who finds that they are regularly angry often find that they are both mentally and physically tired, but don't know why.

Another thing I find distressing about this is the fact that so many of us have a hard time letting little things go, or moving on past them.  The guy cuts us off in traffic, and for some reason, that sets the tone for the rest of the day.  We just can't seem to get over it.  It comes up in our heads again and again. 

I shudder to think what this does to us spiritually.  It's almost like we have a backpack that we carry around, full of all those little hurts and little things that make us angry, and we never empty it out.  It just keeps getting heavier and heavier.  Every once in a while, it gets so heavy that we just throw it at someone.  You know how that goes.  Someone says something or does something, and suddenly, the dam breaks.  Every bit of stored up anger and hurt comes spilling out, and even afterward, you are surprised at everything that came out.  After all, what they didn't or said wasn't so bad that it deserved all of that, and now, you suddenly find yourself carrying even more guilt and shame.

That's where God has given us a great answer for all of this.  It's called forgiveness.  And let me be very clear on this.  Forgiveness is not just saying that it's okay, and moving on, but still carrying the hurt or the grudge.  Forgiveness is truly letting the guilt go, and not holding it against that person any more.  Forgiveness is saying, "I'm going to treat you as though this incident never happened between us."  It's not forgive and forget, it's more like forgive, remember, but don't hold it against that person.

The reality is, forgiveness is really as much for ourselves as it is for the other person.  Yes, forgiving another person can bring healing to the relationship.  But perhaps just as meaningful, it allows us to let go of the anger, to keep the backpack from getting heavier, and allowing ourselves to see that other person without the hurt and guilt that happened in the past.  In that sense, forgiveness, at least from our human perspective, is a choice to not carry the hurt and anger anymore. 

As my last thought, I believe that this is the reason why our society has such a difficult time with this.  Forgiveness isn't just a one time action, but a manner of life.  When we learn to forgive, we don't just do it for those close to us, but for the guy who cut us off on the road, for the cranky bank teller, for the store clerk who dumped her bad day on us, for the kids who were too loud too late, and for all people who may do something that angers us.  Forgiveness is not so much a one time action as a way of life.