"If you brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother." Jesus, in Matthew 18.
I have come to believe that one of the most difficult and challenging things for people anymore is how to handle disagreement. As a personal note, I grew up and don't recall ever having been taught how to deal constructively with conflict or disagreement, and so I found myself quite often trying desperately to avoid disagreements or conflicts. It's only over the last few years that I have significantly grown to where I can appreciate talking through conflicts and disagreements, and where I really have a desire to teach others how to do so.
Many of us are probably familiar with the thought of the verse I quoted above. I think it's also a very fitting thought anytime when two people don't see eye to eye on an issue or topic. Of course, our natural instinct is to rally support for our side, go talk to others so that they agree with us and prove that the other person is wrong, rather than approaching that person and talking through the issue. This is natural. We'd rather have people agree with us than disagree with us. And yet, as Jesus outlines it, this just isn't the right and proper approach.
Let me ask it in this way. How can it possibly do any good to talk about the problem you have with one person with others? It definitely doesn't resolve the problem. If anything, it causes a greater rift between that person and the other people with whom you have discussed "your side" of the story. Now, rather than it being a conflict or disagreement between two people, it has instead expanded to include others.
That's why I believe that these words of Jesus aren't merely for the occasion where one person has sinned against another. It's wisdom for practically every circumstance in life. Talking ABOUT people rarely does anything beneficial. Talking TO people, on the other hand, opens the door to greater understanding and, ultimately, to a greater love toward your neighbor.
Thoughts? Comments? Agree or disagree? I welcome them all!
I have come to believe that one of the most difficult and challenging things for people anymore is how to handle disagreement. As a personal note, I grew up and don't recall ever having been taught how to deal constructively with conflict or disagreement, and so I found myself quite often trying desperately to avoid disagreements or conflicts. It's only over the last few years that I have significantly grown to where I can appreciate talking through conflicts and disagreements, and where I really have a desire to teach others how to do so.
Many of us are probably familiar with the thought of the verse I quoted above. I think it's also a very fitting thought anytime when two people don't see eye to eye on an issue or topic. Of course, our natural instinct is to rally support for our side, go talk to others so that they agree with us and prove that the other person is wrong, rather than approaching that person and talking through the issue. This is natural. We'd rather have people agree with us than disagree with us. And yet, as Jesus outlines it, this just isn't the right and proper approach.
Let me ask it in this way. How can it possibly do any good to talk about the problem you have with one person with others? It definitely doesn't resolve the problem. If anything, it causes a greater rift between that person and the other people with whom you have discussed "your side" of the story. Now, rather than it being a conflict or disagreement between two people, it has instead expanded to include others.
That's why I believe that these words of Jesus aren't merely for the occasion where one person has sinned against another. It's wisdom for practically every circumstance in life. Talking ABOUT people rarely does anything beneficial. Talking TO people, on the other hand, opens the door to greater understanding and, ultimately, to a greater love toward your neighbor.
Thoughts? Comments? Agree or disagree? I welcome them all!
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