So what is appropriate?

 "Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving." Ephesians 5:4

I love the phrase Paul includes in here, "which are out of place." As he considered what it meant to be one of God's people, he knew that God has set apart His people for a different way of life. God had redeemed them and given them new purpose. Being re-created in Jesus, they would have the design for which God had created them as their new walk.

One of the realities of those who are God's people is that we are set apart. We are HOLY, and that word bears a bit of explanation. In its bare meaning, the word holy means to be set apart. If you have a recipe for mashed potatoes that you only use at Thanksgiving, that recipe is holy. It is set apart. And such is the same for God's people. We are purchased by God through Jesus, made new through His sacrifice and resurrection, and are now set apart. We are holy people.

Being holy, being set apart, means that there are simply things that God has set us apart to do, and things that God has set us apart that we will not do. There are things that are simply out of place for us to engage in. In the verse above, Paul lists out filthiness (more than just being dirty, but rather having a mindset that looks to degrade the dignity of being God's special creation), foolish talk and crude joking. These are just not appropriate for God's people.

I'm going to jump on a soapbox for a moment that may challenge a few of you reading. It is inappropriate for God's people to speak sarcastically. Sarcasm is always hurtful. We might think that we are only joking, or that we shouldn't be taken so seriously, but the very nature of a sarcastic remark is to hurt, to damage. It is condescending to others. It doesn't look to build them up, which is what God designed our speech to do. Being fluent in sarcasm may very well be an indicator that we have some spiritual soul-searching to do when it comes to our attitudes toward others.

That's why we ask ourselves a simple question. As God's set-apart people, is what I am about to say appropriate? Is this what God has set me apart to do, or to say? If you cannot reasonably come up with an answer in the positive, then it likely means that it is inappropriate. My hope and prayer is that God guards our thoughts and our tongues from the inappropriate, and instead tunes them to thanksgiving and building up.