Monday, October 8, 2018

Saying "Yes" and Saying "No"

Let what you say simply be Yes or No; anything more than this comes from evil/the evil one.  Jesus, as recorded in Matthew 5:37

It's very likely that you have been asked to do something or to participate in something in the past.  You didn't really want to do it, but it was a noble cause, or it was something that you felt that you had some level of responsibility to do.  It could have been a matter of deep importance or something that was of far less importance.  You wanted to say no.  You really didn't have enough time for it, you didn't have the interest in it, or it wasn't in your area of strength.  It may have been something that was very good, but it just wasn't going to be a good match for you.  But instead of saying no, you said that you would think about it, that you would pray about it, and in the end, you may even have agreed to do it, even though it was with something less than enthusiasm.

For a moment, I want to suggest that we often say yes to things that we should not agree to do, and we say no to things that we should say yes to doing.  Answering these in the proper way often involves a level of discernment, and a great deal of getting over ourselves.  If we want to say no because we are too busy, or we don't believe we have the time, or we just simply don't want to do it, we should probably ask ourselves if we have selfish reasons for not wanting to do it.  If we say no for selfish reasons, some time to reflect and discern may prove helpful.  If we don't want to do it because we are busy, it may mean that we really should look at our schedule and see if we have too many other things to which we are saying yes, when we should be saying no.

On the other hand, we also sometimes say yes for without utilizing that same discernment.  We say yes because the person asking really wants us to do it, but we are a poor fit for it.  We say yes because we feel guilty saying no.  We say yes because it's a really good thing, even though our schedule is already full of really good things.  Again, this may be the time when we need to utilize discernment in our reasoning for saying yes.  We may need to get over ourselves again, whether it is getting over our sense of guilt, or because we really don't want to let someone else down and thus have a different opinion of us.

When I was reading this verse above, it really struck me deeply.  Jesus says that anything more than yes or no is from evil, and the reading of evil from the original Greek text implies more of the evil one.  That caught me.  If I try to qualify my yes or no, whatever I add could actually be of the evil one.  If I say yes simply because I don't like conflict, and therefore don't want to offend the other person by saying no, I'm "adding" to my yes, but for sinful reasons, and that is of the evil one.  If I say no because I simply don't want to do it, or I don't want to think about what I might have to give up, again I am "adding" to my no, but for sinful reasons, and that is of the evil one.

I'll be up front in saying that it is hard to simply say yes or no to a situation set before you.  We have this need to explain ourselves within us.  I would suggest that we probably need to actually take more time to discern, to pray, to consider our schedule of activities, and then to respond with either yes or no.  Discerning is difficult, though.  It may reveal that you have said yes to way too many things, and now you need to practice your no.  Or, it may reveal that you have said no simply because you don't want to give of ourselves, and now you need to practice sacrificial giving of yourself.

Now, I don't expect that you are going to read this and all of a sudden have an epiphany and completely change how you answer people.  Perhaps the most I hope for is that you actually do make a little more effort to discern the situation next time you face a "yes" or "no". It is worth noting that we face this discernment as a redeemed child of God in Jesus, connected to His death and resurrection through our baptism.  We will mess up, and add to our no and our yes.  Yet, we also live with the perfect life of Jesus within us, with His death in us, and His resurrection in us.  That makes our no and our yes definitely worth discerning, since He has freed us from the evil one. 

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