That's Not What I Wanted

After a few posts, it starts to get a bit depressing to realize just how much I am a slave to so many things in life, especially as I realize the hold they have on me, and that they tend not to be very God pleasing at all.  But, in a sense, I'm also a slave to my sense of holding to the course, so to finish the week out, here's another area of life where I find myself a slave.

I am a slave to getting what I want.  Now, that doesn't sound so bad on the surface.  In fact, that's an idea that is drilled into our heads from the time we are young.  "You can be whatever you want."  "If you want something, work hard and it can become yours."  And so the drive to get or to become whatever you want can become a very powerful motivating force in a person's life.  But is that necessarily a good thing?

When I got married, I faced quite a dilemma.  I had quite a few things that I had been doing in a particular way for a while, and now they had to change.  I had to take another person and their desires into account.  I couldn't always get what I wanted.  I would go to the movies whenever I wanted, to see whatever show captured my fancy.  When I got married, not only did I have to work with another person who didn't exactly share my same interests in movies, but also had a very different view of movie watching than I did!

I'm a slave to wanting to do things that I want to do.  The thing is, one of the correctives that God puts in place in our lives is that we live among other people.  We cannot simply go forth to get our way, especially as we live in relationship with others.  And that is actually a very good thing.  God teaches us that our lives are not our own, despite what our American upbringing may declare.  While God often grants us the freedom to choose things like career, occupation, and spouse, He doesn't leave us as slaves to our desires and whims.  We simply have to take others into account.

Yet, I find myself rebelling against that from time to time.  Sure, most of the time I see the value and wisdom of my wife and my daughter, and in what they call for from me.  But there are times where I just want to do what I want to do.  And when it doesn't happen, I realize my slavery to such things as I become surly.  I pout.  I try to find a way to do what I want, hoping that it won't interfer with what others want.  But at heart, I realize that I am a slave.  I want to do what I want to do.

Help! My Mouth Leaks

As I reflect on my life, there are a lot of things that I find myself enslaved to.  One of the more unfortunate ones is my desire to always be talking.  Prior to meeting my wife, I used to babble and chatter nonstop.  If someone said something, I usually thought I had to say something in response.  I can imagine that it got quite old for people to hear one person say something, then I respond, someone else say something, I respond, and so on.  A conversation in which one person speaks every other time tends to get quite dull after a bit.

The problem isn't so much the speaking, though.  The problem is the thought process that goes behind the speaking.  The truth is, I thought that what I had to say was more important than what others had to say.  So I would simply speak what came to mind because, to my way of thinking, I had something important to say, and they all needed to hear it.  It didn't matter if it was informed or not, I had to say it.  And still today, even after having this pointed out to me, and with many intentional efforts to be a better listener, I still find that I'm a slave to my desire to want to say something and think that it's the most important thing they need to hear.

I truly find it fascinating how often the Bible emphasizes that wisdom is found more in keeping your mouth shut than in speaking your mind.  The Proverbs are filled with this kind of wisdom.  And truthfully, it takes a great deal of self control to keep from flapping my lips all the time.  Even though I am engaged in an occupation and vocation in which speaking is a big part of the job, I still find that, when I say less, I usually end up saying more.

Think of it this way.  If you feel you have something to say on everything, what tends to happen is that other people start to tune you out.  On the other hand, when you don't speak all the time, often people will listen to what you say, especially if you prove to have something wise to contribute.  We've all known that person in life that, when he or she spoke, you knew true gold was coming out, and so you paid attention.  You've also known that person who opened their mouth so often that you started to dread when you saw their lips part.

I'm a slave to wanting to say something in response to everything someone else says.  Even though, outwardly, I may have tamed that instinct some, it still lives within me.  I'm a slave to the thought that my thoughts are worthy of having everyone hear them, invited or not.

When is Enough, Enough?

I had a brief moment of angst this morning.  I had gotten the call that one of God's dear children had been called to recieve her eternal life.  Since it was morning, I was in the process of my morning routine.  You know, shower, eat breakfast, get dressed, that sort of thing.  And I decided to put on a red button-up shirt, in my mind a symbol of Christ's blood shed for that dearly departed sister in Christ.  So I went to my closet with my dress shirts and started looking.  I saw a sort of burnt orange shirt, but it wasn't the one I was looking for.  I saw a couple of really dark shirts, but they weren't my red shirt.  I saw a lot of blue and pastel colored button up shirts, but I couldn't find the exact red shirt I was looking for.  That is, until I started looking in between shirts.  There it was, having been slightly pushed back by the weight of the other shirts pressing against it.

It struck me again right then, as it has so many times in recent years.  I have too many shirts.  That closet space that I was looking in was merely one part of one closet of mine.  Yes, I have many more shirts, and they all hang there the same way.  So many packed in that, when you put a bundle of shirts away, they push the ones back that hang right next to them.  I have too many shirts.

I am a slave to having stuff.  I have purchased practically every shirt that hangs in my closets, along with the countless Tshirts filling drawers, and so many other things crammed around my closets, under the beds, and in boxes.  I am a slave to having things.  And that's when the words of Jesus so clearly ring in my ears, when I am confronted by all my stuff.

"Everyone to whom much was given, of him much will be required."  "Therefore, do not be anxious, saying, 'What shall we eat' or 'what shall we wear'?"  And then, in an encounter with a young man versed in God's law, "If you would be perfect, go, sell what you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treaure in heaven; and come, follow Me." 

I'm a slave to my stuff much more than I'm a slave to Jesus.  I like to have stuff.  I have stuff in places that hasn't been used in a year and a half.  At some point, I felt that I needed it.  But now, it sits unused.  And the troubling thing is, the value of that stuff would probably be enough to feed small villages in other parts of the world.  But my heritage is that of so many others in this nation.  I need stuff.  I want stuff.  And I even get stuff that I don't use.

When I think about how painful it would be if Jesus were to say the same thing to me that He said to that young man, it really does rip at me inside.  But that's so often how God confronts those things that enslave us.  He puts us in conflict with them, and exposes how we so often want more stuff rather than want God and His will.  Stuff in and of itself isn't bad.  It's our desire for that stuff that ultimately threatens to enslave us and draw us away from our Lord Jesus.

I hate that I am a slave to stuff.  I actually do look forward to the day when Jesus completely and finally frees me from that slavery, even if it means passing through the doorway of death, or welcoming Him back as He re-creates this world.  Until then, Lord Jesus, keep me uncomfortable in my slavery to my stuff.

I Am A Slave

Jesus answered them, "Truly, truly, I say to you, everyone who commits sin is a slave to sin."  John 8:34

I am a slave.  There are many times in my life where I don't want to be a slave, and there are many times where I actually don't mind being a slave all that much. 

How am I a slave?  In the sense that Jesus spoke about in the verse I quoted above.  Whoever commits sin is a slave to sin.  I sin.  I am a slave.  And the reality that I live in shows that this is indeed a very complicated situation.

There are those things that I really fight and battle against.  I see the sin in my life, and I don't want it to be there anymore.  I struggle with it.  I ask others to help in the struggle.  I come before God, admitting that I'm a slave to these things, and praying for His forgiveness and His Spirit to work toward their conquest in my life.  I don't want to be a slave to these, and so I engage in a battle against them.

The problem is, there are also those things that I am a slave to, but they don't really bother me all that much.  I'm going to post about what some of these look like over the next few days, maybe not in particularly specific ways, but to show how invasive and pervasive some of this slavery really is.  I'll be looking at how I don't really mind being a slave to some of these things because being a slave is actually fairly comforting.  However, it becomes a whole lot less comfortable when I encounter what God says about them, and have to view them from the lens of my redemption and my faith.

But in many respects, this all starts as I realize the truth of what Jesus spoke so many centuries ago, but still applies to my life, and the lives of all people who ever live.  I am a slave.  I don't want to be one, but I am. 

Intentional Weaves

This week, I've been posting about weaving Gospel threads into your life.  It's basically saying that every encounter that you have with others is an opportunity to bring some element of your faith into the encounter, no matter how brief.

Today, I want to look a little bit at how you can begin to bring multiple threads into the same person's life.  Yes, it is great when we string that Gospel thread into someone's life, and we never get the chance to build on it.  That is when we see the truth that St. Paul writes about when he says that he planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the growth.  There are so many times where we encounter a person once, and we either get to plant the seed or provide a little water to the seed that someone else has planted before.

But we also find ourselves going regularly to certain places in life.  In those places, we start to see familiar faces.  For example, my family regularly goes to a small grocery store near our house.  I've gotten to the point that I know pretty much every face in the place.  I think a few of them even remember us, especially our cute little girl. 

So just imagine how those Gospel threads can begin to be woven together in the lives of those that we regularly encounter.  While it's not always going to be possible to go to that same cashier, if you happen to notice that same person working, why not go get in their line, regardless of how long it may be?  And then, weave another Gospel thread into their life.  Who knows, after you have woven enough threads, you might start having the opportunity for something more to build there.  Or, you may even be planting and watering for another to harvest.  There's absolutely no problem with that.

I would imagine, right now, you can think of at least three or four places that you frequent where you recognize faces or people.  Why not start working to intentionally weave a few Gospel threads into a few of those lives?  As you water, God's Spirit will be working to prepare the field for the white harvest.

When Threads Unite

As we continue the topic of weaving Gospel threads into our lives, today I want to venture into those connections that you have with others on a regular basis.  But before I do that, it strikes me that I should probably explain a bit about what I mean when I say "weaving Gospel threads."

As you interact with people in your life, the language and vocabulary you use speaks greatly about you as a person.  Since many of you who read this are Christian, the language and vocabulary that you use in your interactions are means by which you can weave Gospel threads into the lives of others.  But what do I mean by this?  Do I mean that you should work Jesus into every conversation?  While that would be a commendable thing, let's look at something even more basic.

Every interaction you have with others is a chance to demonstrate your faith in God.  Some can be more overt than others.  Consider this: you go to pick up your morning coffee from the barista.  Why not weave a Gospel thread through something like the following.  "Thanks, this will help me enjoy the beautiful day God has given us."  You've woven a Gospel thread there.  Sure, it's not explicitly a Christian Gospel thread, but you've created a moment where your faith in God is present. 

Think of that as a single thread.  Now, you carry that thread with you throughout the day.  As you order your lunch, what about another thread to weave?  As you pick up your food, something simple like this could weave another thread.  "Thank God that He takes care of what I need every meal."  Another Gospel thread has been woven. 

As you weave these threads, one of the things that I believe will happen is that you will have regular encounters with some people.  So sure, that thread where you simply thanked God for a beautiful day doesn't seem like much all by itself.  But the next day, you're back at the same barista for your coffee.  How about another Gospel thread?  "The tastebuds God gave me sure love this cup of coffee.  Thanks for making it."  And then the next day, "I'm thankful to God that my morning includes getting coffee from you."  Thread upon thread upon thread.

What happens when enough threads unite?  You start to form something.  A few threads don't make a blanket, but as you start to weave enough threads together, you start to get something that has some substance.  And, as you can imagine, you can be pretty creative with these Gospel threads.  In fact, I encourage you to think of how many different ways you can weave those threads.  Make some more explicit than others.  Let some be fairly generic.  But start working at them, and then see if you don't start looking for opportunities to weave those threads into your daily life more and more frequently.

The Thread of Your Life

As you live among people, it is inevitable that you will acquire a certain legacy in the eyes of others.  This is especially true of those who see you often.  They will get to know you, and often, they will be able to see things that you may be blind to about yourself.  They will form certain thoughts and opinions about you, and who knows, some of them may even be ones that you would be okay with!

While this is certainly true for those you interact with regularly, that same legacy will often reveal itself even to those with whom you don't regularly interact.  For example, if you are someone that your close friends would call kind-hearted, it's likely that this same kind-heartedness will reveal itself as you interact with others.  On the other hand, if your close friends would call you prickly, it's also very likely that other people will observe that same prickly-ness in their interactions with you.

The legacy that you are leaving behind right now is a thread that you are weaving in your life.  So have you ever given thought to what you want that thread to look like?  In my experience with people, I've known relatively few who were intentionally planning the legacy that they wanted others to know them by.  Most often, it seems we are content to simply to let others think what they will without any particular leaning or guidance on our part.

As a Christian, we also have the opportunity to weave a thread of the Gospel into our lives as part of our legacy.  Every interaction that we have with others is an opportunity to weave the Gospel thread into our lives, as well as the lives of others.  And just like I've said above, in many ways, this thread cannot help but become evident as we live it out.  The approach you take toward appreciating the life God has given you can become a thread that you weave in all the interactions you have with others.

Right now, what does that Gospel thread look like in your life?  Are there ways that you would like to intentionally nurture it so that it becomes more evident?  If so, what ways do you want to take to do that?  And as you do that, give thanks to God that His Spirit is actively at work through the lives of His people as that Gospel thread gets woven.

What Harvest?

This past Sunday, at our church, we focused on the story of Jesus and the Samaritan town of Sychar, found in John 4.  As I've read this chapter in recent years, one thing has really jumped out at me.  But to bring that out, let me briefly run through this story.

Jesus and His disciples are traveling through Samaria.  The disciples go to a town (which I suppose is Sychar) to get some food.  Jesus rests by Jacob's well.  During the day, a woman comes to the well.  She and Jesus have a conversation on a number of things, and she runs back into the town to tell everyone that she has just met the Messiah.  Meanwhile, the disciples come back, and in their conversation with Jesus, He says that they merely have to open their eyes to see that the fields are white with harvest.  Pretty quickly, it becomes apparent what Jesus means, as the whole town comes out to meet Him, at the word of the woman, and invite Him to stay with them for two days, during which time many people come to believe that He is God's Messiah.

The thing that has jumped out to me is this.  What did the disciples miss here?  A whole town seemingly came to faith in Jesus, and they didn't even see any signs of it.  They went into the town, and what did they see?  A lot of these same people, but it appears that the disciples only saw godless, mixed blood heathens who worshiped wrong and believed in false gods.  But Jesus saw how those same people were white with the harvest of God for eternal life. 

The disciples missed that a whole town was white for harvest in front of them.  And to my eyes, it seems that this is because they simply were not looking at the people of that town as people who would be part of God's harvest.  They merely seem to have seen people from which they could purchase food as they hurried on their way to "God's people".

It really makes one think.  Are we Christians missing God's harvest in the same way?  How often do we see the people in front of us every day as people that God's Spirit is preparing for the harvest?  How often do we just see them as people that we have to put up with?  As people who annoy us?  As people who are godless and god-forsaken?  How often do we go through the grocery store line and think that the young man or woman is someone God's Spirit is preparing for the harvest?  How often do we think of the person waiting on us at the restaurant as someone with connections to a whole slew of people that could come to faith in Christ through their sharing?

For the rest of this week, I'm going to focus on what I will be calling "weaving Gospel threads" into your life, but more importantly, into the lives of those you encounter daily.  We might be tempted to ask, "What harvest", but I'm convinced that, as we begin weaving Gospel threads in our lives, we just may have our eyes opened to see where the Spirit is preparing far more fields for harvest than we could ever imagine.

The Individual and The Community

Very early on in the history of mankind, an interesting story occured.  A young man named Cain had his sacrifice to God rejected.  Meanwhile, his brother's sacrifice was accepted by God.  Cain was in a bit of a fit after this.  He invited his brother, Abel, out to the field with him, and then took out his anger at God on his brother.  Cain killed Abel.  The first of countless murders in the history of mankind took place.

Later on, Cain was confronted by God.  God asked him where his brother Abel was.  Cain responded with a vital question.  "Am I my brother's keeper?"  Cain wanted to dissociate any responsibility to and for his brother.  He wanted to make it more about the individual rather than the community.  And from that time forth, humankind has tended to lean more toward our lives as individuals rather than our lives as community.

Yesterday, I posted how the American worldview is very focused on the individual, while the Christian worldview is very focused on the community.  It becomes extremely difficult to bring these two together.  In fact, I would even argue that it's impossible to do so.  We cannot focus on our lives as individuals and expect the community to flourish.  Likewise, if we focus on the community, we simply cannot exalt the individual.  And yet, these two worldviews exist in North American congregations, often not being dealt with very well.

This gets played out in a lot of ways.  From worship style to the book of the Bible we study, we each have our individual opinion.  We want to get something out of it personally.  While that's not necessarily a bad thing, it's also not the point.  Throughout the Bible, God makes it clear that what is of benefit to the building up of the community and the extension of the community is foremost.  What we get out of it as individuals is important, but is not to be sought after at the expense of the community.  Everything that the Church does together should always be put through the filter of, 'Is this for a few individuals, or for the building up of the greater community?"

What do I want you to take away from reading this today?  More than anything, I would like to have you asking a few simple questions when it comes to the things of the Church.  In general, a good question to ask of everything is, does this highlight us as individuals, or does this highlight our life together as community?  If it leans more toward the individual, then it likely needs to be rethought.  So take that question, and walk through your typical "Church experience".  How would you answer that question?  If you don't like what it says, what can be done to change the focus?

Christian or American: One or the Other?

There are times where you take a critical look at things, and discover that two competing world views come together that really shouldn't be combined, but nevertheless get mashed together.  Usually, when that happens, one will overpower the other, or both will get twisted and mangled to the point where neither one is readily recognizable.

Over the past decade or so, I've come across any number of books by Christian authors that have demonstrated how being American and being Christian are two very different things.  Yet, one of the problems that Christians in our nation face is that so many of our churches try to be both.  And yet, when we take a critical look at the basis of each of these worldviews, we find that there are many respects in which the two simply cannot exist well together.

As Americans, we are taught that our individual lives, rights, and freedoms are foremost.  While this may not necessarily be what the founding fathers of this nation intended, the current day reality is such that individualism is highlighted.  The role of the community is minimized, as is our responsibility and accountability to one another.  We are taught that we can do whatever we want, we can achieve whatever we want, and what we do is our business and not any else's.

Contrast that, now, with the Christian worldview that comes to us from God's Word, the Bible.  In there, we are taught that we are our brother's keeper.  We are taught that the two things of most importance in our lives are to love God (who loved us with a great, sacrificial, giving love that goes far beyond emotion) and to love our neighbors as ourselves.  As part of the community of faith, we are told that the community should be of the foremost importance, even to the point of laying aside our rights, considering the needs of others as greater than ours, and in sacrificing for the good of others.  We are responsible for one another, accountable to and for one another, and utimately, our lives are not based upon achievement, but upon what God has achieved for us in Jesus.

Just reading those two paragraphs should highlight how much these two clash when they encounter each other.  This conflict gets played out in many different ways in our nation and time.  Matters such as worship become more about our personal preferences than in the building up of the community.  Bible study becomes less about building each other up, and more about attaining greater knowledge and understanding on a personal basis.  We tend to sacrifice less for the good of God's community, and put a much higher priority on our own personal comforts.

I have no desire to repeat what has been written about so much in our Christian bookstores.  I am thankful that the call is going forth to bring awareness to this, and to bring about changes.  Such changes are difficult, especially when you consider the difficulty of changing a person's world view.  In the next few blog entries, I'll be focusing a little bit on this.

What's Your Biggest Secret?

Several years back, I was participating in a leadership set of courses.  The leader for one of these courses had a great deal of wisdom to impart to all of us who were attending.  Among the many things he said, though, one thing has stuck in my mind over the years, a very important principle which I strive to remember and work with in my life and ministry.

His saying was something along these lines.  What's your biggest secret?  You need to discover what it is and figure out a way to deal with it, because Satan is simply waiting to use it to destroy your ministry and to bring shame to the name of Jesus.  The big thing that this presenter was going for was transparency, especially upon the part of the minister and ministry leader.

Now, admittedly, that can be a challenging thing to do.  We all have things about ourselves that we hope and pray to God that no one else in the world unearths.  And truly, it's going to prove impossible to deal with every sinful thought and expression that we have in life.  However, generally speaking, transparency with our sin, and openness with the things we struggle with, far often proves to be of greater value than hiding them away.

I think this can be especially challenging for one in a position of some authority in ministry.  How open is too open, and how open is not open enough?  Admittedly, that is a tough balance to discover.  The minister who is to open about his sinful tendencies can lead people to question his ability to lead and minister.  The minister who is too closed off about his sinful tendencies can seem to convey the sense that he has no struggles, or appears to be too squeaky clean, and therefore unapproachable by someone who truly does struggle.

I would suggest, however, that there is a great position to be open about one's sinful struggles, and to ask for forgiveness for them, especially before they put you into a position where it can damage ministry.  That's the wisdom that I believe the instructor was passing on to us as pastoral leaders, and I think it's a great bit of wisdom that also happens to be competely biblical and applicable.  May God guide all of us to that openness, to admitting our sinful struggles, and being willing to asking for forgiveness and seeing it granted for the sake of Jesus.

Book Review: Follow Me

Over the past two weeks, I have been reading a book I picked up just after Christmas.  The title is "Follow Me" by David Platt.  A few thoughts and reviews of what all the author has to say.

First, let me admit that I really did like this book.  The author seems to have noticed many of the same things I have seen in the overall Christian Church in North America, and he addresses several of the issues at hand.  He offers a somewhat pointed view of the different topics, firmly, yet typically very biblically.  Reading carefully, you can pick up on some of the things that have infiltrated the Christian Church in our country, and how our particular "approach" to things may not be the most biblical approach.

There are cautions, however.  First, as with many current day authors, at times the points he makes are overstated to a degree.  Sometimes the best way to highlight a problem area is to present it as worse than it really is.  In one or two of the cases in the points he makes, he does this a bit.  His desire, however, is still commendable in that he is looking to shake up a lethargic Christianity back to the radicalness of what it truly means to follow Jesus.

In particular, severl points jumped out to me.  When he talks about being children of God, he contrasts that with being servants of God.  Yes, both are biblical pictures of our relationship with God in Christ.  However, I really did appreciate what he said about how we often carry ourselves as servants of God rather than as children of the Father.  When we utilize terms like obey in our vocabulary, we betray our thinking of God as our Master, and we as his servants.  While there is a time and place for that, it seems we generally don't utilize vocabulary that would reveal a view in which we are God's beloved children.  Yes, I could go much deeper on this, and might in the future, but I found it a generally applicable chapter.

One other thing that Platt does is drive people to the Church, that is, to the local body of believers to which they are supposed to be connected.  While Jesus is personal for each of us, He doesn't draw people to Himself separate from all the others who are drawn to Him.  He brings them into the body of Christ, the Church.  And once there, we aren't to sit there as though we merely soak things in.  We are active in the things of God, supporting one another, growing in God, building up and encouraging each other, and even in sharing the Gospel message into the communities in which we live.

Overall, a very good read.  It is critical of much that can be found in mainstream Christianity in North America, but in a helpful way, with an eye toward reform.  I would generally recommend this book to anyone interested in seeing how they or their congregation can take steps to become a more vibrant body in the context of their community.

Random Weekend Thoughts and Reflections

Just a few random things on a Saturday.

• A theme I constantly return to.  God is a God of perfect grace, perfect justice, and perfect mercy.  We humans just simply cannot fathom how that can be.  We tend to fall to one part or another.  When we encounter other people who lean toward a different one, we simply fail to understand.  Yet, somehow, God in Christ Jesus is all of these perfectly.
• Book Reading: I love to read (as you may have read before on this blog).  I'm currently working through a set of books by an author, David Platt.  I recommend what he has written in what I have read thus far, but encourage you to remember that every author has their own soapbox, as well as their own idea on what is of importance and value to God.
• Journals: I've never really been all that big on journaling, but am thinking of taking up a few aspects of it.  In particular, part of my research project for my doctorate will be the keeping of a specific journal for a specific class offered within the congregation.  However, I do anticipate bringing the journaling aspect out into other parts of the lives of God's people.
• Hospitality: over the past few months, my family and I have opened our house up to the people of God, and the response has been tremendous.  We have loved having everyone over (even as I grumble about the sweeping and vacuuming before and after), and have enjoyed getting to know people better.  I truly believe this is a lost part of the Christian life and community, simply having people over to one's house.
• Reading the Bible during Worship: One of the things I am challenging myself on is to have God's people be in the Bible during worship.  It has required a few adjustments on my part, but I find overall that I am enjoying the challenge, and look forward to seeing people continue to flip through the pages of the Bible as God's Word impacts our lives.