It may not be much of a surprise to some of you, but I was not all that popular growing up. I was the smart kid in a small school, not particularly athletic, but just good enough to be on the different teams. I didn't hang out with the "cool" kids on Fridays, preferring to stay home or go about other activities. In other words, I wasn't an insider. I was definitely an outsider.
In so many ways, that really doesn't bother me. Every once in a while, I would feel some level of regret that so many of the other kids at school knew what had happened over the weekend, but overall, it just didn't matter that much to me. And still today, I hear about different things that go in in the different circles of friends that I have, but more often than not, I'm not that sad to be the outsider. Perhaps the only place that I truly would hate to be an outsider would be with my immediate family.
I recognize that I am somewhat unique in this way. So many people want to be an insider. We hate to be outsiders. We want to be seen with the "cool" kids or people. We make a lot of the peer pressure that teens face, but part of our overall reality is that, even as adults, we want to be on the inside. We want to seem as though we know what's happening. We want to be included rather than excluded.
In other words, we want the message of acceptance to be communicated. We want others to communicate what's happening and make us a part of what's going on. We want to be part of the group, and being part of the group means that we know what's happening. We're in the loop of the communication. We feel it rather keenly when we aren't in the loop. When communication breaks down, we may even start to wonder if others are changing their minds about us.
Now to make a quick turn. We gather as Christians. True, we may have our different circles within our congregation, but there is also some sense that we're in this all together. We have our different levels of being an insider, but when we're part of the group, we are on the inside. We may not always know everything that's going on, but we know more than those who aren't part of the group.
So what happens when an outsider shows up? Do we defend our positions as insiders? Do we force the outsiders to take it upon themselves to become an insider, or do we welcome them and invite them in to be an insider? Would we rather communicate with the other insiders, or with the outsider?
What message do we communicate if we would rather spend all our time with our fellow insiders, rather than reaching out to the outsiders and inviting them in to our circles? Does that send the message that we Christians are an exclusive, "cool" group, and others aren't worth our time or effort? Do we send the message that we want them to be part of the group, and so work diligently to invite them in and welcome them? I think those are some questions we should all think about, even if they force us to think about our own levels of being an insider or outsider.
In so many ways, that really doesn't bother me. Every once in a while, I would feel some level of regret that so many of the other kids at school knew what had happened over the weekend, but overall, it just didn't matter that much to me. And still today, I hear about different things that go in in the different circles of friends that I have, but more often than not, I'm not that sad to be the outsider. Perhaps the only place that I truly would hate to be an outsider would be with my immediate family.
I recognize that I am somewhat unique in this way. So many people want to be an insider. We hate to be outsiders. We want to be seen with the "cool" kids or people. We make a lot of the peer pressure that teens face, but part of our overall reality is that, even as adults, we want to be on the inside. We want to seem as though we know what's happening. We want to be included rather than excluded.
In other words, we want the message of acceptance to be communicated. We want others to communicate what's happening and make us a part of what's going on. We want to be part of the group, and being part of the group means that we know what's happening. We're in the loop of the communication. We feel it rather keenly when we aren't in the loop. When communication breaks down, we may even start to wonder if others are changing their minds about us.
Now to make a quick turn. We gather as Christians. True, we may have our different circles within our congregation, but there is also some sense that we're in this all together. We have our different levels of being an insider, but when we're part of the group, we are on the inside. We may not always know everything that's going on, but we know more than those who aren't part of the group.
So what happens when an outsider shows up? Do we defend our positions as insiders? Do we force the outsiders to take it upon themselves to become an insider, or do we welcome them and invite them in to be an insider? Would we rather communicate with the other insiders, or with the outsider?
What message do we communicate if we would rather spend all our time with our fellow insiders, rather than reaching out to the outsiders and inviting them in to our circles? Does that send the message that we Christians are an exclusive, "cool" group, and others aren't worth our time or effort? Do we send the message that we want them to be part of the group, and so work diligently to invite them in and welcome them? I think those are some questions we should all think about, even if they force us to think about our own levels of being an insider or outsider.
No comments:
Post a Comment