Friday, May 10, 2013

Dealing with Hard Feelings

One of the sad realities of this fallen, sinful world is that people will inevitably have their feelings hurt over one matter or another.  Sometimes it's something so seemingly small, like a word taken out of context, or even when someone fails to smile at us or say hello to us.  Other times, the hard feelings are truly "earned", as when someone says something to us with the intent to bring hurt or pain.  But by and large, I would dare say that most of the time when we encounter hurt feelings, it comes because of a breakdown in communication between two or more people.

So what do we do when this happens?  Well, first, we should realize that there are typically two perspectives to this.  The one side is that of the person who has the hurt feelings.  They are on the receiving end of whatever happened.  But there is also the perspective of the person who caused the hurt feelings, whether they intended to or not.  And one thing I have found, quite often, is that the person with the hurt feelings tends to nurse those feelings in silence, and quite often, the person who caused the hurt feelings doesn't even have an awareness that they caused hurt feelings.

As Christians, we are people who have been reconciled to God through the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus.  Because we have been reconciled, we also seek to reconcile with others, especially those who share our faith in Christ Jesus.  We don't want to let hurt feelings linger, knowing that they are very damaging.  We want to bring them out to the light of day, so that we can work on them, deal with them as necessary, and then move forward in the love and forgiveness of Christ.  Not only is this the way that God would have us deal with these things as Christians, but we also see that there is value to this as we live our lives.  It's much more energy-consuming to maintain hurt feelings or anger toward another than it is to be reconciled.  It's much nicer to live life when you aren't trying to avoid someone, but instead look forward to seeing them.

In 2 Corinthians 5:11-21, St. Paul writes about the ministry of reconciliation.  It's what God wants for all people of the world, not only for Christians.  That's why we strive toward reconciliation as Christians.  In fact, this is such a vital role in our lives as Christians that I typically find it very helpful to lead congregations through the whole reconciliation process, even when there aren't major conflicts to be dealt with.  We will always have conflict and hurt feelings in life.  Knowing what God has done to forgive them, and knowing what we can do as God's people to be a people of reconciliation, truly does help the body of Christ move forward together.  May we be about this, for the sake of Christ our Lord!

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