A Thought on Forgiveness

"Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you."  Ephesians 4:32

What is the benefit of holding on to a grudge?  Who does it help out?  For the person who has the grudge against another, every time you think about that person, guess what is probably going to come to mind.  And then, think about what thoughts, feelings, and emotions arise.  Another way of asking this is, how does carrying a grudge improve your life or the situation that you find yourself in?  What happens when you have to have interactions with that person against whom you have a grudge?  Doesn't it take a lot of effort and energy to hold on to that anger?

And then, think of it from the side of the person against whom you have the grudge.  Perhaps they know what they did, and perhaps not.  If they don't know what they did that has angered you, then they are likely confused as to why you seem distant and cold toward them.  If they do know what you did, they may wonder why you can't seem to get past something that happened in the past.  If the grudge persists long enough, they may even decide that your inability to get over it isn't worth continued interaction with you, and they may start to avoid you.

How does any of this bring a benefit to life?  The reality is, it doesn't.  Remembering how someone hurt you in the past, carrying that anger, never getting over their past actions, all of this destroys relationships rather than improving relationships.  And there is, in reality, no way that someone who carries a grudge can be said to be loving to their neighbor, as God has said we are to be to another.

What's the answer?  It's God's best answer to all of our human dilemmas.  It's forgiveness.  When the sin and guilt are forgiven and moved past, relationships are restored.  When two people work through the troubles and difficulties they have, they have a foundation from which to work, a foundation built on forgiveness and on care toward each other.

In Jesus, God has done this fully and completely for us.  Jesus has forgiven every single thing, no matter how large or small, that God could hold as a grudge against us.  We live constantly in that restored relationship.  And what better way is there to show that we have that forgiveness from God than to be forgiving people ourselves?

Is this easy?  No.  There are some hurts and scars that run deep and have left lasting marks.  And yet, as I asked before, what is the benefit to holding on to that hurt?  Is that person likely to change simply because you are angry at them, or because you have chosen not to forgive?  It's no guarantee that they will change if you do forgive them, but perhaps that's where we find that forgiveness may actually be more for our sake than for theirs.  It is not only the way God approaches us, but it can help clear our heads and minds of those things that distract us and draw us away from God and others. 

How big of a role does forgiveness play in your life?  How much do you share it with others around you?