Friday, September 14, 2018

Dependence: Good, Bad, or Neither?

Think about phrases that describe our North American lifestyle.  Some old ones are along the lines of "Pull yourself up by your bootstraps", "Never let them see you sweat", and "You can only rely on yourself."  Still today, you hear phrases like, "If you want the job done right, do it yourself."  In other words, the sentiment is still very strong out there.  You cannot rely on others, you should only rely on yourself.

A word that is often used to sum up this idea is "independent".  Independent means that you don't have to rely upon others.  You can do what you want, the way you want, in the time that you want.  This is contrasted with being dependent.  The idea of dependent is that you cannot do anything without relying on others.  To take it to extremes (which some do), it means that you are incapable of doing something without the assistance, direction, or motivation of others.  You are incapable of accomplishing it yourself.  To many, there is a very strong aversion to dependence. 

I've seen this aversion to dependence in a variety of ways over the years.  You get someone who is recovering from illness or surgery, and they have to rely on someone to tie their shoes, or help get dressed for example.  They almost seem embarrassed that they need such help, even if it is understandable, given their circumstances.  Yes, I recognize that this is a fairly benign example, but you get the idea.  We see it with parents whose children fail to leave home during or after college, where they are often viewed as dependent (with a negative connotation toward the idea).

The question we are asking today is this.  Is such dependence, while perhaps not normal for our culture, biblical?  Paul uses the image of the body, a multitude of parts that all rely upon one another, working in coordination.  Eyes do not function on their own, but as a part of the overall body.  The same is said for ears, the brain, the spine, the legs, the arms, etc. The body, as a whole, simply cannot have one part exist independently of the rest.

Yet, we also have examples from the Bible of the need to be a functioning part of the body.  Paul would also say that the worker is due his wages.  If someone refuses to work, then they should bear the consequences of such inaction.  This creates a tension.  We are to rely upon others, but at the same time, we are also to do the "work" given us to do.  We are dependent on one another as members of the body and as members of society, and yet, we are each also expected to fulfill the roles (work) that God gives us to do.  Because of our redemption in Jesus, we do this now out of love for neighbor rather than as a means of pleasing God, but the point is, we DO it.

I would dare assert that we spend much time trying to be overly independent.  That means there are times when we must give way to our independent instincts and allow others to serve us, just as we are also to serve them in their needs.  Yes, it means putting aside our pride and dying to ourselves, but those are held up as good things throughout God's Word to us.  Just as Jesus put aside His own needs to serve others, we do the same thing as redeemed, baptized children of God. 

As an end note, I realize that this is a fairly specific use of the word dependent that I am using for this post.  There are other uses of the word which I am not addressing in here where dependence is not a good thing.  But overall, what I most would like for you to take away from this is that we actually could stand to grow in our reliance upon others, seeking to put to death our self so that we are open to others serving us, just as we want to serve them and pray for them to be open to it when we see their need.

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