Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Labels and Who We Are

I have a tendency to be a fairly driven and motivated person.  At least on occasion.  However, there are times when I also want to just sit there and do nothing.  Maybe I'll read a book or play a game on my tablet, or watch a TV show.  I like to be lazy every once in a while.  I've also noticed that other people have noticed these tendencies in me from time to time.  Sure, mostly I try to have the driven,  motivated person put in an appearance far more often than the lazy one, but it's funny how often people will start to see those aspects of me, and then start referring to me with them.

In other words, that's how we start to get labels for ourselves.  Other people notice some traits about us, and then refer to those often when talking to us or about us with others.  And after a while, we can actually start to try to emphasize those in our lives.  When others see something good in us, a lot of times, we'll start trying to do more of that good, and in doing so, we start to become what others think about us.

This can also go in the opposite direction.  When we start to think something negative about someone, that can also start to become what they do, and who they are.  If you tell someone that they are worthless, after a while, that could very well be how they start to see themselves, and then they start changing their behavior to fit such a label.  Simply by giving them a label, simply by naming how we think about them, we can actually start to see them becoming that which we label.

Now, this is not a scientific study or anything that I'm referring to, but it is something that I have seen over the years.  A child who gets diagnosed with something like ADHD actually starts to act more like an ADHD child.  That which was intended to name a problem became a label to live up to.  While cases where there is a real chemical problem have to be taken into account, there are also many that I have known who simply seemed to use the diagnosis as an excuse for their behavior.

We can think ourselves into certain things.  Again, this is somewhat limited in its application.  For example, we can never become holy simply or perfect simply by thinking we are.  We may become better people, but some elements of our nature simply cannot be changed.  But in some form or fashion, we can affect ourselves and others simply by the way we think about them.

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