A number of years ago, I read a book with my wife and a few other couples. In this book, it talked about developing a prayer life together as a couple. I remember one of the assertions that the book made. It said that there is nothing more intimate than developing a prayer life together with each other. At the time, I struggled a little bit to understand what the author meant by that saying. After all, saying a prayer together at mealtime doesn't seem all that intimate. Neither does offering a brief prayer to God just before falling asleep at night.
As the years have gone by, I've grown to understand a little bit more about that statement, though. I would be the first to admit that my prayer life has lots of room for expansion. And as I think about that, I think I start to realize the connection between prayer in a marriage, and the intimacy that the author wrote about.
Imagine praying with your spouse (or, if you aren't married, your boyfriend/girlfriend, and as you read the rest of this post, when I say 'spouse', you can substitute boyfriend/girlfriend). It's kind of easy, and not very intimate, to simply ask God to watch over you during the day, or to keep you safe at night as you sleep. Doesn't seem very likely to build up your intimacy with each other, does it? However, think about asking your spouse to pray for an area of sin in your life that you are struggling with. That starts to get intimate. After all, we often try to cover up some of our weaknesses or our sinful attractions from others, including our spouse. It takes a great deal of humility to ask your spouse to pray for an area of your life that they may or may not know about.
A part of intimacy is learning about the intimate secret spots that we each have in our lives. As we start to pray about those along with our spouse, we truly are inviting a greater intimacy into our relationship. We're baring our soul for them to see. Truthfully, this is a difficult thing to do. We don't always like what is hidden in our hearts and minds, much less want someone else to see it. And yet, as we share those things with our spouse, and as we approach God in prayer with them, we invite closer intimacy with our spouse.
If you start thinking that your marriage or relationship could use some greater intimacy, how about thinking about this kind of prayer life as part of that growth? It might be easiest to start with some smaller things, and then work to build up to those bigger things that may present more of a struggle. I would highly suggest this, not only to married people, but to pre-marriage relationships. What better way to prepare for marriage than in developing a prayer life together, as well as growing in your intimacy with each other? I really do wish more couples would engage in such practices before they even start thinking about marriage. I honestly believe that more marriages would be more intimate and lasting than what we typically find around us today.
As the years have gone by, I've grown to understand a little bit more about that statement, though. I would be the first to admit that my prayer life has lots of room for expansion. And as I think about that, I think I start to realize the connection between prayer in a marriage, and the intimacy that the author wrote about.
Imagine praying with your spouse (or, if you aren't married, your boyfriend/girlfriend, and as you read the rest of this post, when I say 'spouse', you can substitute boyfriend/girlfriend). It's kind of easy, and not very intimate, to simply ask God to watch over you during the day, or to keep you safe at night as you sleep. Doesn't seem very likely to build up your intimacy with each other, does it? However, think about asking your spouse to pray for an area of sin in your life that you are struggling with. That starts to get intimate. After all, we often try to cover up some of our weaknesses or our sinful attractions from others, including our spouse. It takes a great deal of humility to ask your spouse to pray for an area of your life that they may or may not know about.
A part of intimacy is learning about the intimate secret spots that we each have in our lives. As we start to pray about those along with our spouse, we truly are inviting a greater intimacy into our relationship. We're baring our soul for them to see. Truthfully, this is a difficult thing to do. We don't always like what is hidden in our hearts and minds, much less want someone else to see it. And yet, as we share those things with our spouse, and as we approach God in prayer with them, we invite closer intimacy with our spouse.
If you start thinking that your marriage or relationship could use some greater intimacy, how about thinking about this kind of prayer life as part of that growth? It might be easiest to start with some smaller things, and then work to build up to those bigger things that may present more of a struggle. I would highly suggest this, not only to married people, but to pre-marriage relationships. What better way to prepare for marriage than in developing a prayer life together, as well as growing in your intimacy with each other? I really do wish more couples would engage in such practices before they even start thinking about marriage. I honestly believe that more marriages would be more intimate and lasting than what we typically find around us today.
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