Halloween, Reformation, Saints, and the End of October

Most of you probably know October 31 by the day of Halloween.  For many of my faith tradition, we also know this day as Reformation Day.  It's a day that carries a great deal of significance toward understanding God and His actions in this world, and in some ways, observes a day that had a great deal of influence in shaping the world we know today.

In ancient days, November 1 was set aside as a day to remember those who had died.  For Christians, this day was one in which those who had died in faith would be remembered.  They had received the inheritance of their faith: eternal life with God because they had been forgiven through Jesus and the cross.  So the day was called All Saints Day, as God's people would remember those who had gone on in faith before them.

Several traditions sprung up from that.  In many towns and villages, the night before, a person or two would dress up as a devil or demon, and the townspeople would chase that devil or demon out of town.  They would then be rewarded for doing this.  (I'm sure you can see how this would later on lead to the current observance of Halloween, with people dressing up and looking for treats.)

For Christians, November 1 would be a very high celebration day.  Special worship times were set aside to remember God's promises of grace and forgiveness, and many would gather for those times of worship.  So, in the early 1500's, when a young monk by the name of Martin Luther wanted to initiate some discussion on the teachings and practices of the church, he went to the door of the local church in Wittenberg, Germany, to post his 95 different thoughts, or theses, upon which he desired discussion.

That began a movement that has had both good and bad repercussions.  On the one hand, Luther and a number of his colleagues wanted to get back to what the Bible said about God, Jesus, and salvation, rather than things that were decided by group vote at council-type meetings.  The message of Good News that God gave in the Bible should be the focus, they maintained.  This led to a movement to look to the Bible for the truth, rather than other places.

On the other hand, though, it created a great rift between people who held to the Christian faith.  Some people were kicked out of the church at that time, which led to their gatherings being separate from other Christians.  Over time, those differences have led to more and more "splinter groups" of Christians, forming what are the many denominations, each of which have different understandings of what God says in the Bible, and how it impacts our life.

For those of my tradition, who have Luther's name attached to our churches, and who study his thoughts in how to understand the Bible, October 31 has always been a special day.  It is the day that essentially started the whole Reformation process.  That's why, in Lutheran churches throughout the world, special times of worship were held yesterday or today which remember those events that have given shape and form to how we understand God and His work.

A few last thoughts on character

I've really enjoyed putting these blog posts about character together.  It's helped shape a few things in my mind, and I hope for all of you who have been reading that it has done the same for you.

As we seek to grow and adopt the kind of character that is spoken of throughout the Bible and that we want to have as part of our lives, we also have to come to grips with the fact that we will never fully achieve this.  The sinful nature in our lives simply does not permit us to always do everything in the way we want, or in good ways.  I would actually argue that part of our character development is learning how to "own up" to those times when we fail, learning how to admit to others that we were wrong, and then asking for forgiveness and seeking to change (especially if it's a recurring problem or sin). 

Another thing we have to face is that developing character will often leave scars behind.  One TV show that I regularly watch usually opens and closes with sayings that pertain to the topic of the show.  One in particular has stuck with me for a long time.  It says "Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars."  (Quote is by Kalil Gibran)  What it seems that he is saying here is that we won't grow our characters by hiding in safe places.  It is by being put into the new, the uncomfortable, the challenging, where we will encounter growth.  It doesn't take a lot of character to keep doing the same things over and over again.  It does take and develop great character to try new things, to stretch yourself in ways that you could not have imagined. 

All of this also takes a great deal of courage.  Courage is not the absence of fear, but is more like staring fear in the face and going ahead with what you were doing anyway.  We discover the strength that God has given us when we put ourselves in new situations and seek to grow.  (Would you be surprised to know that this also has the potential to grow us in our trust in God as the One who cares for us and provides for and protects us?) 

In all of these things, we can also rest completely assured that, when we fail, or when we falter, or when we plain just don't want to, the relationship of forgiveness that God has for us does not change.  How well or poorly we may do in changing our character still does not change our relationship with the forgiving God.  He who begun the good work in us is also the only one who can bring it to completion, and He will do that on the day when Christ once again appears and claims His own to be with Him forever.  This gives us courage and the strength to take those chances, to step forth in courage. 

Thanks for listening to my thoughts on character.  I look forward to the next series and seeing what your thoughts are!

Shaping Character in a Desirable Way

"So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the prophets."  Jesus

As I have been thinking about this topic of character over the past couple of weeks, I've been led more and more to the thought that our character is shaped to a great degree in how we interact with others.  While we would all love to just be given a good character, the reality is that the development of a good character involves a good bit of work and a great deal of consideration for others.

Or maybe a better way to say it is something along the lines of what Jesus said in the quote above.  If you do to other people what you want them to do to you, the likelihood is that you will have a good character.  If you want people to treat you kindly and with respect, it's a good idea to treat them kindly and with respect.  If you want them to think less of you, then simply think less of them.  In the grand scheme of things, how we interact with and treat others will invariably become the way that they interact with and treat us.

This is by no means a guarantee.  I'll use a personal example.  I generally try to be good-natured and good humored around others.  I'll try to greet them with a smile and say something uplifting to them, or ask how they are doing.  But there are always those who will seem like they just want you to leave them alone.  They brush you off, or ignore you, or just kind of grunt back at you and move on.  In that case, it's likely that your character, at least in their eyes, is less than desirable.

But overall, I really do believe that Jesus knows what He is talking about here.  Our character is going to be defined by how we interact with and treat others.  If we think that we are better than other people, or that we deserve more than they do, that's just going to come across, and will affect our character in their eyes.  If we are humble toward others, if we listen to them, if we show a genuine interest in their life, that also will come across and affect our character in their eyes. 

Our character is shaped by the way we are toward others.  And wouldn't you know that God knew that all along?

For whom do we have good character?

Please forgive the absence of the last couple of days.  A more full schedule, along with a little forgetfulness, will go a long way toward the lack of posts that sometimes comes up.

As we've been looking at character, the next arena of character I want to enter into is that which thinks about for whom we have good character.  When we strive to have "good" character, who do we see as the recipient of this character?

Naturally, our first place to look will always be at ourselves.  We want to be known for our good character because it enhances our reputation.  We want to feel good about ourselves, and the things we accomplish.  We want to be known as someone who keeps our word, or who is helpful.  Very few of us strive to be known as selfish, or to be arrogant, or mean, or other character qualities that we may tend to view more unfavorably.

But looking at that previous paragraph, notice that, while we want these things for ourselves, they really involve how others see us.  That means that our character is going to end up being defined by how we act toward and treat other people.  If we want to be known as "good", then we'll have a hard time living up to that character if we are not good to others.  If we want to be known as generous, it will be hard if we never give of our our time or resources to help others.

In other words, a significant part of our character is going to be determined by how we see others and what we do for them and to them.  We don't have "good" character for ourselves.  We have good character when we are truly good to others.  In fact, the way that it works, when we are good to others, then we will become known for our good character.  The reverse just doesn't happen.  We aren't known for being good, and then decide to do good to others.

I recognize that you can probably find a number of characteristics that may not exactly fit this.  Yet, every characteristic is somehow going to involve others, even if it is merely how we appear to others.  (For example, a shy person may not interact much with others, but even that lack of interaction involves the lack of others, which other people notice.) 

So when we think about the kind of characteristics we want to be known for, we would be wise to look at how we interact with others to see if those characteristics are being made clear.  After all, character is formed to a great degree in the eyes of those whom God has put around us.

Character: Good or Bad? Who Decides?

Up to this point in this series on character, I've been treating the thought that character is a neutral thing.  In other words, we come to be known for certain things in our lives, which define our character.  From that standpoint, character is neutral.  To use an example I have been using throughout, we avoid conflict, or we find some level of comfort in dealing with conflict.  In and of itself, our reaction is neutral.

However, when we look at the character of others, or even our own, or when others see our character, we tend to label that character as good or bad.  We might say that the person who avoids conflict has bad character, whereas the one who deals with it is good (and the one who seeks out conflict because they enjoy it, well, many would probably say that's bad, too).  But here is the question for today.  How do we determine what kind of character is good and what is bad?

Quite often, I believe that we do this based upon our own character.  In my ongoing example, a family that has developed and avoids conflict would probably find someone who is comfortable with it as bad, especially should that person point out an area or two where this family perhaps should talk about their differences, and not merely avoid them.  On the other hand, a family that develops their ways of dealing with conflict might seem bad to a person who was taught to avoid conflict.  That might seem overly stressful.  And many others might look at the person that seems to seek out conflict and think it's bad that this person never can seem to let anything go, but seems to have to make their point at almost everything that comes along.

But is there a better place to look than our own personal experience when it comes to defining what good character is, and what constitutes bad character?  I would suggest that we look to the God who made all things, which includes us, and includes not only our character, but who knows what perfect character is.  And yet, I have to admit that even this can be somewhat confusing.  After all, we might look at different places in, say, Proverbs in the Bible, and we see that it says things like "so quit before a quarrel breaks out" (Proverbs 17:14) and "whoever heeds reproof is prudent" (Proverbs 15:5), and we may wonder, which is better, to avoid the conflict, or to engage in it to better the person? 

I would suggest that God actually intends something even greater than mere specific verses to apply to any particular situation.  When it comes to defining "good" character or "bad", I would suggest that character which demonstrates love for one's neighbor would be "good" character.  And that is not always a cut and dried thing.  Sometimes it's more loving to pass over something that causes conflict, perhaps like a minor thing that is a one time occurrence.  At other times, it's more loving to speak up to the person, especially if the thing they are doing is hurtful to themselves or others.  Love for our neighbor, and not something from our own selfish desires, probably should be the criteria for determining if character is good or bad.

We'll talk more on this subject on Monday.  In the meantime, have a blessed day of worship tomorrow!

A Changing Character: Dealing with Doubters

Okay, so you have identified something about yourself, some characteristic, that you want to change.  You spend the time learning how to change, working on the change.  You fight through the setbacks and start to intentionally bring out the characteristic you want to be known for.  However, that's when you start to hit another obstacle: other people's expectations.

We as humans do not change quickly, and that goes for how we perceive others when they change.  We think that they will always be the same person that we have known.  So, when someone does something differently, the first few times, we may be somewhat surprised at them, but figure that they will go back to normal before too long.  Then, if they persist in the new character for a while, we find ourselves in an uncomfortable position, that of having to change our view and thoughts of them.

That change does not happen easily.  If you talk to the family of an alcoholic, one of the toughest tasks for the recovering person is having others change their expectations and behaviors.  In so many ways, we sort of form ourselves around that person's behavior or character, and then, when they change, we have a lot of things that have to change as well.  But we may not want to change.  It's easier to hope that the other person will change back to what they were before.

How do you deal with these, for lack of a better word, doubters?  That can be tough, especially since some of them are likely ones that you look to for support in the change.  Helping them to see your seriousness in changing can help.  Share with them the things that they do which hinder your change, and emphasize how important it is to you that they do this with you.  These are truly some of the ways that we show love and care for others.

This time may seem the most difficult to the person who is trying to make the character change.  It can truly seem like the whole world is against you, even those who are close to you.  I have a thought that this may be the kind of suffering and endurance that Paul was talking about when he said that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character.  So my encouragement is to hang in there, and work with those in your life who may be your support, but also some of your greatest challenges.

Developing Character: When Failure Strikes

You really want to change something about yourself, some character trait that you just plain don't like.  So you take a little time to learn how to go about the change, and then you start trying to do things differently.  Maybe you have a few times where you are able to do the new thing you want, but you find yourself plagued by the desire to just do what seems to come naturally.  You might even find that you do slip back into what you've always done before, and you end up kicking yourself for not being stronger, or for your failure.

Trying to change a pattern or habit is very difficult.  It gets much harder when it comes to something that we seem to be "wired" for.  Over the past few days, I've been using the example of someone who has the characteristic of avoiding conflict, but who wants to learn how to actually engage in it constructively. 

So this is how today's thought applies.  You've learned a few things about how to handle conflict constructively.  You've even found a few times to try out what you have learned, and they didn't go badly.  In a way, you may have been surprised that things actually worked, though you have to admit that your stomach was churning the whole time.  You were really nervous, and you thought that it might go away after one or two successful times.  But you still find your stomach in knots when you think about confronting something in a conflict situation.

So then it happens.  You give in to that feeling.  Rather than engage in the conflict that comes your way, you avoid it.  You give in to the other person, even though you know it's wrong.  Now you feel like a failure in addition to your fear of conflict.  All your work and preparation seems for naught.  You may even start to think that you should just give up.

For some reason, we humans have a tendency to think that, if we don't do something perfectly the first time, that we should just give up.  And yet, that is a completely false thought.  None of us are able to do things well without working on them or practicing them.  Even people who seem to have natural talents in areas have to work to further develop those skills.  And the same thing goes with changing our character.

I would argue that this is where the help and support of another person or other people is vital.  God did not make us to go through things alone, but gave us a community in order to give strength and support.  It's only our stubborn pride which thinks that we can do it all by ourselves.  And quite often, just knowing that we have others to help makes it a little less difficult to bring about that change in life.

So, back to the example.  You go ask two of your friends if they will help you by keeping you accountable when it comes to learning how to deal with the conflicts that arise in your life.  They agree to ask you how you responded, and maybe even to walk you through how the discussion might go.  They will also be there to understand when you fail to live up to the new standard you are trying to create, but will also not just let you get away with it. 

Believe it or not, sometimes just knowing that you will have to tell someone else about your encounter gives you the courage to press forward.  It might actually be easier to go through the confrontation rather than have to let your friends know that you failed.  Bringing others in to give you help and assistance does not take away the possibility of failure, but can give you the means and motivation to make the changes that you are after.