The Loneliness of Conviction

One of the sides of leadership that I have never been able to prepare for, and really have always inadequately dealt with, is the loneliness that comes from conviction.  What do I mean by that, you ask?  Great question.

The Loneliness of Conviction comes when you know that there is something that needs to be done, or an issue that needs to be addressed, and you realize that you are the one who is being called upon to lead the charge.  Others may think or feel the same way that you do, but they have not been given the opportunity or strength to speak up or stand up.  Yet others may see your conviction as unnecessary, needlessly causing conflict and stirring up the pot from their normal, known, often comfortable ways.  Some may even stand actively against you, whether they (or you) are right or wrong, but simply find comfort in where they stand.

I will admit that this particular matter, the loneliness of conviction, has led to more sleepless nights than I would ever have hoped for.  I will also admit that even typing these words causes me to question myself.  The vulnerability that I admit to having in being lonely and in, at times, wanting not to be the one who has such conviction, is truly gut-wrenching.  However, I also have come to believe very firmly in what Paul wrote when he wrote that, in weakness, the power of Christ is revealed.  Vulnerability truly does have a way of opening up doors for the Spirit that power, pride, and confidence don't.

The loneliness of conviction is not something you typically learn when dealing with leadership.  We often want to think that we will be able to win the argument, to persuade others to our side.  We want to think that our influence will change their minds and their actions.  And, truthfully, sometimes our conviction is simply the conviction of a better way to do something, but the "old" way is known, comfortable, and may even be showing signs of life, however faint.  The conviction to move out into the unknown is not something given to everyone.  Why do you think the people grumbled against Moses when they were out in the wilderness?  Moses had the conviction that this was from God, and yet, even as badly as the people had it, it was easier to grumble against it.  And even Moses struggled with the loneliness of conviction.

The loneliness of conviction is real.  Perhaps it is something that you have never thought of before, and if you are reading this, I hope you don't go away disheartened.  Yes, the loneliness of conviction is hard, but often, it means that God has prepared you for this moment (think Esther, as her cousin Mordecai would tell her that God may even have put her in the position she was in for just a time as this). God has also redeemed this, as Jesus Himself knows the loneliness of conviction, eventually being completely abandoned by all as He bore the weight of the sin of the world and the wrath of God, only to overcome it with His resurrection.  It is His strength that flows.  Will we fail?  Yes.  Will we doubt?  Yes.  Will we be lonely?  Yes.  Will we feel guilty if we fail to act or stand on our convictions?  Yes.  And yet, there will be a Savior there who has scars of His own and who can tell you that He can and has redeemed even this moment.

The Maturity of the Christian, Part Three

So far in this series, I have been emphasizing the need for continued learning as part of the overall growth and maturation of the Christian.  In the last post, I also emphasized that even the most immature Christian is still in Christ, and thus, is in a state of salvation.  Further growth in maturity is not completely necessary (in terms of salvation and being a child of God) but is something that we do see as highly desirable.

Today, though, I want to move into a different arena of learning.  I would say that it still involves learning, but it is a different type of learning than that of mere knowledge.  This learning is the learning by experience.  In some respects, this is seen as the best kind of learning (a direction that I tend to lean in).  We humans really do seem to learn best when we try something.  As an example, you can read a book about how to ride a bicycle.  You can understand the dynamics of it all, the importance of balance, the need for pushing the petals forward, the use of the brakes, and all the other related parts.  However, we best learn how to ride a bike by getting up on it and trying it out.

There are challenges with this kind of learning.  Perhaps the largest one is that, when we actually try something the first time, we (more often than not) fail at it.  We get on the bike, start pushing the petals forward, and since we haven't mastered the balance and the coordination that goes with it, we end up falling over.  Hopefully we aren't too injured (body or pride), and we take what we have learned for the next time we get up there on the seat again.

Now, I am going to admit that there are two different ways that this applies to Christian maturation, and it doesn't really fit one very well.  This falls in the area of belief.  Believing something is not a thing that you can simply practice.  I can't practice believing that grass is green, or that the sky is blue.  Neither can I practice believing that God cares for me, that Jesus died on the cross for me, and that His sacrifice makes me right with God.  In some ways, I either believe that (through the gift of God) or I don't.  No amount of practice, or even learning, will further mature me in that.

However, there are ways that I can mature in the practice of my faith by actually practicing the things of the faith.  I can practice forgiving another, and then reminding myself often that I should not hold their past action against them when I interact with them.  I can practice giving of myself sacrificially for the good of another, and seeing how God works through that to bear fruit.  I can practice loving my spouse and placing her needs above my own, and thus, growing in that God-created and God-given relationship.  In areas like this, I can practice and (hopefully) see maturation and growth.

It isn't always easy, though.  I may not succeed the first time I try something.  I may try something that I consider loving toward my spouse, and it just may not resonate with her.  I may try to tell another about what I believe about God, and why I believe in what Jesus did for me, and I may come across as a bumbling idiot who can't speak well.  However, I learn from such experiences.  Failure in this regard is both forgiven by God and is a learning tool for further maturation.  Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God.  Maturation, though, often comes through practice, and quite often, through failure.

The Maturity of the Christian, Part 2

As I mentioned in yesterday's post, I have a great interest in the formation of faith within God's people.  This naturally leads me to be interested in the field of education, where we learn.  While education is only one part of faith formation, and thus of maturity, it is an important part.  Not to mention that it seems that God created me with a teaching instinct.  I find it more natural to teach than many other things, something that likely comes across in many different ways in my life.

Maturity finds its root in learning.  As a child begins to learn words, he or she learns that those words are not merely sounds that daddy and mommy and others make, but they carry meaning with them.  They learn that the word mommy means this person who cares for me, and that daddy is another person who cares for me, but who is different from mommy.  The child matures not only in learning the words, but inn learning that there is meaning in the words, and then, in applying the words.  If the words are misapplied (calling mommy "daddy", for example), then further maturity is still needed.

This means that teaching is the first step of maturity.  We must learn what something is, and we must learn the meaning of that something, whatever it may be.  A further step is to learn the purpose of that something (here is where the "why" question comes in, one that children are so fond of), and the application of that something in one's life.  This reflects a deepening maturity as the different stages are reached.

So part of maturity in the Christian is to learn about our God.  This is where the role of hearing the Word regularly enters in, in reading the Word, in studying the Word.  We keep learning what the something at the center of our faith is, that is, we keep learning about our God.  We learn that He is such things as Creator, that He has characteristics as merciful, loving, compassionate, and the like.  We learn that He has an intent with His creation, and that He saw something go horribly wrong with His creation.  We learn that He has the solution to the problems of His creation, and that He intends for something to happen for the good of His creation.

In that way, we start to learn the facts about our God.  We learn the words that describe God.  We learn the stories which show examples of His characteristics (and no, not all of them are pleasant for us to learn and to reflect upon).  We learn that He has something in mind for us.  In this way, as from the example above, we learn that He is "daddy", a person who cares for me, and who is different from others.  We learn the words about Him, and we learn of the relationship He has established with us.

Yet, that is in no way a full maturity.  Sure, such learning may grow our maturity in other areas.  We may grow in learning how to set aside time for the study and hearing of the Word, and while that is important, there are also many other areas of maturity beyond that.  In a way, the teaching of God's Word, the study and hearing of God's Word, bring us to that same place where the child is very early on.  We know this One is "daddy", and we know He is different from others, but there is so much more depth to that, depth which calls for a greater maturity.

I want to end this on a very positive note, though.  The great thing about God is that even if our level of maturity is only at the point of recognizing Him as "daddy", and we know what He has done for us in Jesus, He still works His great gift of salvation and grace to us.  From that standpoint, a deeper maturity isn't required.  In fact, I would dare say that a vast majority of Christians over the ages have reached that point of maturity, and praise be to God, that proves sufficient for the receiving of eternal life in Jesus.  Knowing He is our "daddy", and that He has grown that relationship in Jesus' life, death, and resurrection, includes us in the promise of everlasting life.  Thanks be to God for that!

The Maturity of the Christian, Part 1

Yes, you noticed a part 1 in the heading of this post, as I intend that it will cover several posts.  So keep tuned in, just in case I don't think through something today that you may be thinking.  It's likely that it will come up in a future post on this topic.

The topic of Christian maturity is one that I pay great attention to.  In fact, it often dominates my reading, as some of the recent titles of books that I have read include "Intergenerational Christian Formation", "Reframing Spiritual Formation", and "Intergenerational Religious Education."  Each of these deal with the growth of the Christian in their faith, the lives, and their faith lives in particular.

As one who is tasked to proclaim Christ Jesus and see faith in Him growing within those who hear, I have a great deal of interest in such growth.  Another way that the Scriptures paint it is of a growing maturity.  In other words, it isn't merely head knowledge.  We can "know" lots of things about the Bible, about God, and about Jesus, but knowledge alone doesn't ensure maturity.  We have all known people that could win practically any trivia contest, but are woefully inadequate in dealing with the circumstances life throws our way.  And yet, the primary models of faith formation we have focus primarily on knowledge acquisition.  

So part of what we are going to have to figure out is what maturity actually looks like.  Yes, there is going to be an important component of knowledge in that.  You have to know in order to grow into something.  It also includes a willingness to actually do and practice the things you learn.  For example, we can know that Jesus forgives us through the cross, and yet, we can be very immature when it comes to forgiving others in our lives.  A willingness to forgive indicates a deeper maturity.  And then, as we see Jesus forgiving even those who ultimately reject His gift of forgiveness, we see an even deeper maturity when we practice forgiveness toward those who will reject our gift, and will, in fact, continue to live defiantly contrary to what we might hope and expect.

Maturity also includes a willingness to sacrifice.  Again, an example may help best illustrate this.  We can know that our God says that we are to love our neighbors as ourselves.  Paul even goes so far as to say that we should consider others as better than ourselves, and seek to serve their needs ahead of our own.  Jesus Himself would say that He didn't come to be served, but to serve.  We may intellectually agree with this, but growing in maturity means that we start to look to the good of others, even if it involves sacrifice for ourselves.  And then, even greater maturity means that we look to the good of others, even if they do not look favorably upon us, and in fact, actually work against what we believe and stand for.  Jesus Himself would say that it really isn't all that much if we only sacrifice for those who we get along with.  Even the sinners and tax collectors do that.  To have a willingness to sacrifice, even for those who may hold such sacrifice against us, is a sign of a greater maturity.

One other thing, and then I will wrap up for today.  Maturity is not a straight-forward process.  There are steps forward, and there are moments where we backslide.  In that same way, just because we get older doesn't mean we get more mature.  I have known very mature young people, and I have known immature older people, when it comes to faith matters.  In addition, we may be very mature in some areas, and woefully immature in other areas. 

Paul would write that he could not give his readers solid food, but instead focused on giving them milk, because they weren't ready for the solid food of some deeper teachings and practices.  Over the next few posts, we will further examine what that might mean, and eventually, start looking at what growth in maturity may look like for us as Christians.