Our Father, One Big Beginning Place

We say it so often that it may actually lose the significance of what we are saying.  "Our Father, who art in heaven."  These words of Jesus teach us, as we learn in Martin Luther's small catechism, that "With these words God tenderly invites us to believe that He is our true Father and that we are His true children, so that with all boldness and confidence we may ask Him as dear children ask their dear father." 

God is our Father.  That's what Jesus teaches us.  And that introduces something significant for us.  If God is the father of us all, that means that have a unique connection with each other.  If we have a common Father, then we are all His dear children, and that makes us a family.  Perhaps, in your reading of the New Testament, you catch the frequency with which God's people address each other as brothers, or as brothers and sisters.  This is because, through Jesus, God creates a new family.

This creates a new dynamic for God's people as they gather together.  It isn't just simply coming together for worship, or for fellowship, or for learning.  It is coming together as a family gathering.  Think about the ways that you greet your family members when you see each other.  It's a joy to be with them.  You give hugs (and maybe even kisses).  You have smiles on your faces.  You have things you want to talk about.  You want to hear what is going on in their lives.  Sometimes you simply want to spend some time with them, and at other times, you have one or two matters that need to be worked through.

When you look around your gathering of God's saints, you are looking at your brothers and sisters.  Now, as I go through this series of blog posts, we are going to see how God intends for this family and its connections to be even more powerful than the "blood" family connections that we have, at least when it comes to the family He creates.  In many cases, it shouldn't introduce too much of a challenge to us.  Yet, there will also be times when it presents a major challenge to us.  Plus, as a family, it means that there are things we work toward with each other, and there are things that we simply do not do to family members.  We will be covering a lot of these things as we "think out loud" here.

For now, give some thought to how you would approach God's people at your congregation if you were to think of them as your family.  Think about how you would be different toward them, and in what ways you would remain the same.  

Connecting With Generations

I'm going to admit something right up front.  I am, in a lot of ways, a kid at heart.  In fact, I think there is a decent chance that my three year old daughter is actually more mature than I am (you could ask my wife and probably get a pretty honest answer!).  I love kids, and I love playing with kids, working with kids, and simply being around kids.  Kids are great.

I've also discovered, over the years, that I also enjoy working with older people.  They have a view on life that you can just sit back and revel in.  Sure, they may have their moments where they talk about the aches and pains of life, but is that any different than hearing about the skinned knees and other boo-boos that little ones get?  Plus, I have come to the conclusion that both young and old simply love a good story, or to tell a good story.

While I love connecting with both old and young, I've also learned that it takes some effort to create such connections.  Being a fairly tall male, there are times when I can tell that kids are a little frightened of me.  In a way, that's good, as it shows that they have a respectful fear of strangers.  So it takes work and effort on my part to show them that I am someone they can trust, and that I want to be their friend.

That same dynamic can also be found working with older adults.  I don't know if I personally frighten them, but I do know that there are things that I regularly make use of (such as technology and vocabulary) that they seem to be a little frightened of.  They have a respectful fear of such things, especially if they aren't regularly connected with it.  So it takes work and effort on my part to show them that I can be trusted, even as I regularly make use of these new gizmos and gadgets.

It takes work to connect with different generations.  Sometimes it means that we set aside the fears that we may have about them (I don't know what to talk about with them, I don't know what they like, I don't even know how to talk to them, etc.).  Sometimes it means that we simply show them that we want to care about them, even if we have a difficult time understanding where they are coming from, or what they are involved in.

What can you do in the next week or so to make a connection with someone who falls either 10 years younger or older than you?  What fears do you have of attempting such a connection?  What would you like to see happen from such a connection?  Oh, and one final question.  Who is that person that you will connect with, and when will you do that?

Generational Ministry and Intergenerational Ministries

In preparation for a number of different ministry ideas that I have been pursuing for a while, I have had cause to give a lot of thought to how many churches conduct the ministry that God gives them to do.  Traditionally in our day, age, and country, there has been a tendency for several decades now to seek to minister to age and stage groups.  Not a bad emphasis at all.  After all, the needs of the more senior adults in God's church have different ministry needs than do young families, children, or youth.  Each one of these ages and stages have different challenges they face, and the effort is there to have some form of ministry for them according to their need.

Again, this is a good thing.  However, many have started to realize that this also creates certain "problems" within God's people.  In one book I was reading, the author shared how, upon a visit to a congregation, a young lady in her early 20s was interviewed.  She had shown up once to a funeral.  Upon being asked, the young lady acknowledged that she didn't know the person who had died, an elderly member of the congregation.  When asked why she would come to the funeral of a person she didn't know, the young lady remarked that she had never been to a funeral.  She wanted to know what one was like.  Upon further questioning, she also shared that she had never held a baby, or even really worked with children, other than those who were her age when she herself was a child. 

This points to one of the problems that can arise when age and stage groups are created.  They rarely interact with one another.  (Oh, and if you think that this isn't an issue in your congregation, go ask the young people how often the older people interact with them, and vice versa.  You may be shocked at just how isolated each age and stage can get.)  We would like to think that the ages come together and interact more than they do, but the reality is that we humans tend to be found with those like us, in mindset, in age, and in stage of life.  It takes intentional effort to cross those generational boundaries.

Again, I want to re-iterate that there is a place for age and stage ministry.  However, if that comes exclusively at the expense of the ages and stages interacting, then something has gone wrong.  God's people of all ages and stages are supposed to be living life together.  The family doesn't each get sent to their age/stage room, but are supposed to gather around the dinner table all together (think the Sacrament of the Altar here).  They are supposed to have family time together (think of the fellowship of the saints here).  They are supposed to pray together, play together, and know each other.  Even if they separate to be challenged and to grow according to their age and stage, it should never be at the expense of the whole body.

Yes, this presents a rather significant challenge.  How do you bring the ages and stages together, and at the same time, let them have their needed time on their own?  I won't say that this has any particular answer, but I do know that it is something that we will be working toward in the congregation I am part of.  Sure, we will have our ups and downs, and I will pray for patience and understanding as we try and learn from failures and successes.  And I will ask you to please remember, while it may be easy to point out what is wrong with what we do, if you don't have a suggestion for improving it, then please keep it as constructive and positive as you can.

Introducing Intergenerational

I have been blogging about a number of different things lately, as we have had a lot make its way into the news that has some direct impact on our Christian faith and life.  I've discovered that it is relatively easy to get drawn into extended discussions about some of these topics, which sometimes can come at the expense of actually getting into the meat and potatoes of doing God's work among God's people and the communities in which we find ourselves placed by God.

So I'm taking a bit of a change today.  I want to start introducing something that we will be working on this fall in our congregation here in the 'burbs of Atlanta.  For lack of something more clever to call it, we'll simply call it intergenerational ministry.  It is related to the family ministry model that we are putting together, but seeks to also go beyond what we will be doing there.

(I should also mention that this is a part of what I am working on as my project toward my Doctor of Ministry degree in Missional Leadership.  It is a project to be conducted within the life of the congregation that demonstrates missional leadership as we seek to be taking God's Word and the forgiveness that God gives in Jesus out into our communities.  So this isn't just some knee-jerk, hey let's try this kind of thing.  It is a detailed, thought out, researched plan that we will be looking at as a ministry model for years to come.)

Basically, the essential element of intergenerational ministry is to connect the generations with each other.  We have much about faith and life that we can learn as we connect older adults with younger adults, children, college students, and even toddlers and infants. 

The plan that we will undertake this fall will be the creation of three of these groups that will commit to meeting weekly for a period of three months.  They will follow a booklet curriculum that I will develop, which will seek to grow them in their relationships and faith with each other, though with the ultimate goal of becoming more confident in talking faith matters with people from different generations.  At the end of the time together, the groups would then be encouraged to reach out to people they know, invite them to come learn more about the faith that we share, and to create additional groups who would then follow the same curriculum.

Over the next few weeks, I'll be sharing some of the background that goes into why we will venture in this direction.  As we do that, I would encourage you to prayerfully consider how you might be a part of this as we move toward it this fall.

Intentionally Crossing Generational Lines

It's a phenomenon that I have seen on many occasions in my life.  You have some kind of event in which people from different ages are gathered.  As you look around the room or place, you likely notice a peculiar thing.  In general, you have the group of older people who are gathered together, talking about matters that are common among them.  In fact, you may have two or three of these groups, depending on their interests.  Then, in another spot, you have the group of parents, watching over their kids, but sharing matters that are common among them.  Again, there could be multiple groups like this present.  And then, in yet another place, you have the group of youth that really don't want to be there, but are gathered together, talking about how unfair it is that they get dragged to events like this where the old people talk together, and they don't really have any interest in what is going on.

When we are left to our own devices, we naturally seek out those that are most like us.  This goes for things such as nationality, interests, and age grouping.  We don't find it very natural to cross over to that group where we don't "fit in" very well.  It requires intentional effort to make such a move.  And without that intentional effort, it most often simply doesn't happen.  (Sure, you can point out there there are times that it does happen, but by and large, those are the exceptions rather than the norm.)

As God's people, we may think that such situations wouldn't happen, and yet, since such things are so deep in our human nature, they still do happen, even among God's people.  Look around your church next time you are there.  How many older people are "hanging out" with the youth?  Are there people of grandparent age who are interacting with people who have younger children?  Do you see groups forming up around age, or opinion, or interest?  Shoot, I would even say you probably see women in one group and men in another group too.  Our ability to segregate ourselves comes so naturally that we often fail to even notice that we do it.  (Oh, and by the way, notice how we group ourselves with those that we know, so that our guests or visitors that God sends our way often find themselves standing all alone.  Think we should do something intentional about that?)

I bring this to our attention because, as God's people, we benefit greatly when we intentionally cross those generational lines to interact with one another.  As a research nerd (someone who reads and enjoys reading research), I can tell you that research has shown that lasting faith is more often built in those who have interactions that cross generational lines.  So when we start wondering what happened to all the young people, could it possibly be that the older people stopped interacting with them, and sent the message that they didn't want them there, even if it wasn't intentional?

As a leader of God's people, I will be putting together a few groups in our congregation that will work to intentionally cross these generational lines and come together.  Even more, these groups will not only do that in the context of the congregation, but will also have an eye toward inviting others who do not yet know what Jesus has done for them to be a part of the group.  If that sounds like something you would be interested in commiting to, please let me know, and I will make sure you are part of it.

There is so much that we can learn from one another, and so much of that will inevitably help us cross those lines, so that we find those "others" not quite so scary.  I pray that you will take some of those steps on your own to see just how blessed it can be to intentionally cross generational lines.