Love and Forgiveness

I've often heard that the most important factor in what Jesus has done for us is that He won forgiveness for us.  The reality is, there is a lot of truth to that statement.  Without the forgiveness of Jesus, we simply cannot stand in the presence of God the Father and hope to have a word of welcome.  God's holiness and our sin simply cannot coexist.  We need the forgiveness that Jesus obtained for us at such a high cost.

And yet, as a Lutheran, I'm often drawn back to some of the confessions of faith that we cling to. In one of those, we have the writers of those Lutheran documents contrasting the writers of the Catholic Church of the day, especially over a verse that comes at the end of 1 Corinthians 13, the "love" chapter of Paul's letter.  That last verse says that these three remain: faith, hope, and love, and the greatest of these is love.

The Lutheran writers, clinging to faith as the means by which we have assurance of God's forgiveness of us, highlight the importance of faith in that.  The Catholic writers highlight the importance of love, especially actions of love done on the part of human beings.  (As an aside, these are important, but as the rest of the Scriptures make pretty clear, our greatest actions of love still don't make us right with God, a point the Lutherans wanted to emphasize.)

As I have grown more experienced in ministry, I have started to see this in a bit of a different light.  I honestly do think that, in some respects, those involved in the dispute kind of "talked past" each other.  In some ways, when we look at these three, and then also at the role of forgiveness, there seems to be a bit of an apples and oranges thing going on here.

The forgiveness of Jesus is vital to restoring our relationship with God.  However, what moved God to even want to restore that relationship?  Love, specifically, God's love for fallen, sinful humanity.  Love is vitally important, not as the means by which God restored us, but as the motivation that drove God to forgive us.  Our faith then clings to what God has told us that He did in Jesus, with His love for us as the motivation.  Our faith looks to that, and then, as God's Spirit does His work, inspires us toward that same kind of love toward others.

As you read through that paragraph, you perhaps can see why it's impossible to actually "rank" one thing higher than the other.  They are all different parts of something that is necessary.  At the back of it all, though, is the fact that God does it because of His great love for us.  That love inspires the work of forgiveness in Jesus, which we then cling to in faith.  It sounds a bit like a process, even though it takes place constantly in the life of a believer.

I can't say why this has been on my mind lately, other than that I think there is a life application to be made from it.  We usually don't forgive someone that we don't have a relationship with.  Love tends to be the driving force behind our forgiveness.  Let me use the example of a husband and wife for a moment.  Love is the prevalent thing in the relationship.  That love is what drives forgiveness when it is called for in the relationship.  If the forgiveness is absent, you can question the presence of love.  Yet, forgiveness is not all that is there to the relationship.  But the reason that the couple can continue is because they believe (put their faith in) the fact that the other has forgiven them.  The forgiveness is vital, but not the driving force.  Love is the driving force.

As I said, this is kind of thinking out loud, and I think I also need more time to flesh it out more.

What's Your Biggest Secret?

Several years back, I was participating in a leadership set of courses.  The leader for one of these courses had a great deal of wisdom to impart to all of us who were attending.  Among the many things he said, though, one thing has stuck in my mind over the years, a very important principle which I strive to remember and work with in my life and ministry.

His saying was something along these lines.  What's your biggest secret?  You need to discover what it is and figure out a way to deal with it, because Satan is simply waiting to use it to destroy your ministry and to bring shame to the name of Jesus.  The big thing that this presenter was going for was transparency, especially upon the part of the minister and ministry leader.

Now, admittedly, that can be a challenging thing to do.  We all have things about ourselves that we hope and pray to God that no one else in the world unearths.  And truly, it's going to prove impossible to deal with every sinful thought and expression that we have in life.  However, generally speaking, transparency with our sin, and openness with the things we struggle with, far often proves to be of greater value than hiding them away.

I think this can be especially challenging for one in a position of some authority in ministry.  How open is too open, and how open is not open enough?  Admittedly, that is a tough balance to discover.  The minister who is to open about his sinful tendencies can lead people to question his ability to lead and minister.  The minister who is too closed off about his sinful tendencies can seem to convey the sense that he has no struggles, or appears to be too squeaky clean, and therefore unapproachable by someone who truly does struggle.

I would suggest, however, that there is a great position to be open about one's sinful struggles, and to ask for forgiveness for them, especially before they put you into a position where it can damage ministry.  That's the wisdom that I believe the instructor was passing on to us as pastoral leaders, and I think it's a great bit of wisdom that also happens to be competely biblical and applicable.  May God guide all of us to that openness, to admitting our sinful struggles, and being willing to asking for forgiveness and seeing it granted for the sake of Jesus.

How would you respond?

One of our realities in this life is that we find ourselves involved in various levels of conflict pretty much on a daily basis.  Some of these aren't all that big.  The person delivering your newspaper threw the paper in the flower bed instead of the driveway or the porch.  You have a conflict, but for most of us, we tend to simply overlook that one (unless it happens on a regular basis).  The person cuts you off on the road, and once you've honked your horn and given them a rude look, you've moved past it.  These seem relatively minor. 

But we're also faced with larger ones.  You're sitting down to work on your budget with your spouse, and you disagree on how you should spend some portion of your income.  Neither of you is very willing to budge very much.  You've got a fairly major dispute on your hands.  You may be a little bit less likely to simply overlook this one.  After all, you've got some level of interest in what you think and believe.  So you may find that you're a little more willing to stand up and fight for your position.

Or, it comes to a matter of parenting, or of care for an aging parent.  You feel very strongly about one course of action, and the other person/people feel strongly about a different one.  Now you've got a big conflict, and you have to find a way to resolve it.  Once again, you probably can't simply overlook this one, and now you've got multiple people who will be affected not only by the outcome, but by how you handle the conflict.

So how would you respond?  I'm a pretty firm believer that we each have a "default" way of dealing with conflict.  If we look at our life, we'll see a pattern emerging in how we tend to want to deal with conflict.  To some degree, we fall into either the category of fight or flight.  Now, we can find ourselves in various degrees in each of these, but overall, we have a tendency toward one or the other.

However, that's a generalization.  Certain circumstances will often find us breaking out of our default for a variety of reasons.  If we firmly believe that one particular action is more "right" than others, we may be more likely to fight for our view even if our default is to avoid conflict.  Or, our default may typically be to engage in conflict somewhat aggressively, but we have certain things that just aren't as important to us, and so we overlook them. 

How do you respond?  In some ways, we have our default.  But in other ways, we recognize that every situation is a little different and calls for a different response.  As we face that, I truly do think that it's worthwhile for us to think about how we respond to a given situation as we do, and to examine the reasons that we respond the way that we do.

How do you let go?

There's one thing that I dislike about traveling.  It's lugging the big suitcase around.  You have to make room for it in the car, you have to carry it around, you have to pick it up and put in on the scale.  Sometimes you even have to pick it up and try to squeeze it into one of those seriously undersized overhead bins.  Luggage is heavy.  It's awkward, it falls over a lot, and really is an inconvenience.

Sadly, a lot of us carry around a great deal of luggage.  Not the traveling kind, but the kind that comes when we fail to forgive another for what they have done to us.  Now, right here at the outset, I should explain what this word forgive really means.  We have this sense that, if we just say the word, it goes away.  But it probably shouldn't surprise you, especially if you've been following my thoughts for a while, that forgiveness sure isn't that easy.

To forgive someone is to make a conscious choice to never let that particular thing or issue affect your relationship again.  You truly let it go.  You don't hold it against them.  You don't open up your luggage and store it in there for some future appropriate time, because if you have forgiven, there will never be an appropriate time.  Forgiving someone means you let go, and you work to make sure that it never comes up again.

You might have noticed.  That's not easy to do.  Forgiveness takes work.  It means that, when that particular thing pops into your mind, you make a conscious effort to remove it again.  When you are interacting with that person, you don't let any memory of that thing get in the way of what you're doing or saying.  You put it out of sight.  Just think of that one Psalm verse that God uses to describe forgiveness.  Psalm 103:12 says "As far as the east is from the west, so far does He remove our transgression from us."  You can't measure how far the east is from the west.  It's out of sight.  You can't see it, and so you can't continue to dwell on it.

Now, just in case you're wondering or feeling really guilty at this point, the only one who can truly do this properly is God Himself.  You and I will always fail and falter in this.  We'll let the grudge come back to haunt us.  We'll slip and let our thoughts be influenced by what happened before.  However, we can make the effort to grow in our forgiveness.  We don't do it to be more forgiven by God, since Jesus has taken care of that completely.  Instead, we do it to better reflect the forgiving God who has made us into a new creation.

"It's okay to be a sinner"

Okay, I'll admit to being a little theatrical with the title.  When it comes to the task of preaching, I've always struggled with coming up with titles, and the same thing goes for blogging.  So sometimes it's just whatever sounds somewhat attention grabbing that wins the day.  My hope is always that the title will draw at least a few in, and might keep their attention to hear what we're talking about God for that time.

Now, when you hear or read a statement like "it's okay to be a sinner", you're likely to have one of two reactions.  Either you're going to go along the lines of thinking that it's NOT okay to be a sinner.  After all, from God's perspective, sinners are condemned.  It's not okay to be a sinner because it means present and eternal separation from God.  And who knows, you might even be so riled up about it that you stop listening or paying attention simply because nothing good can ever come from something with a title like that.

Or, you could fall on the other side of the street.  You hear, "it's okay to be a sinner", and you think that all those things that you do that God says not to do are now okay.  Doesn't God forgive completely?  So why should I give up those sinful things in my life, or even really battle against them at all?  And so, you read that title and start nodding your head, already convinced that you're only going to be made more secure in those things that God says not to do because, after all, God is a God of grace and forgiveness.

My point is this: if you take either side, you tend to miss the full picture of God.  It's okay to be a sinner and to admit that to God because God does indeed want to forgive you.  In fact, God wants you to be able to approach Him with your sin to ask for forgiveness.  We can do that because we have confidence in God's compassionate nature, because Jesus has lived, died, and risen to forgive our sin.  It's okay to be a sinner when we approach God to admit/confess our sin, knowing that God looks with compassion upon sinners and forgives them.

At the same time, it's not okay to come before God with your sin, stubbornly holding on to it at the same time as you try to hold on to God's gift of forgiveness.  It's not okay to live joyfully and willfully in your sin and to flaunt it before God, basically daring Him not to forgive you.  You cannot hold to that which separates you from God AND to that which connects you to God at the same time.

But neither of those are my point today.  My point primarily is this.  When we gather as God's people, we often treat sin as something that we aren't guilty of.  We portray our lives as basically good, though there may be a few small things that God needs to forgive.  Meanwhile, we are left to wonder if we are the only ones who struggle with sin in our lives.  We may point out the sins in others, but we're highly reluctant to share our sins with others, simply because we know of that all too human tendency.  And that's why we need the reminder that, when it comes to the Body of Christ, it's okay to be a sinner, because Jesus does receive sinners and forgive them.

That points to the ultimate goal of admitting that we are a sinner.  We are okay with being a sinner because we also know that Jesus has fully forgiven us.  We are also a saint, fully forgiven, even while we struggle with our sin.  We can admit our sins to one another because that brother or sister can pronounce God's forgiveness in Jesus to us.  And that's something to be celebrated.  That's why we can say, "It's okay to be a sinner."

Distrust

As we live out our lives, one of the things that I have come to believe is foundational to a healthy life is having those people we can trust in life.  Many of us spend a lot of time searching for those people that we can truly "be ourselves" around.  We want to know that they are safe people, that we can open up to them, and that they won't betray that trust.

Yet, we find ourselves living more and more in a skeptical, jaded world.  In a day and age where everyone has the opportunity for a knee-jerk reaction on Facebook or Twitter or on their blogs, it seems that trust isn't seen as highly as it once was.  We see how untrustworthy so many are around us, and we cannot help but feel the lack of trust that exists around us.  And for many of us, this becomes a personal problem.

What do you do when you don't have someone with whom you can truly trust your life?  You want to have someone with whom you can be open and honest, but it's really hard to develop that kind of relationship with someone.  Spouses continually are breaking trust, as is evidenced in the divorce rate.  Friendships fall apart as gossip enters in, and trust is broken.  And even in churches, relationships that are founded in Christ Jesus are torn apart as confidences are betrayed, and as God's people fail to develop trust among one another.

Satan loves distrust.  He loves to isolate us with the thought that no one else can understand or be trusted with our precious thoughts and lives.  And sadly, he finds an all-too-willing ally in our sinful nature.  There is that part of us that wants to use the juicy thoughts or confidences of others as a way to exalt ourselves, or to draw more attention to ourselves.  And the more we indulge that sin, the greater the distrust that builds up, and the more difficult the task for the Holy Spirit to bring about Christ's reconciliation.

I don't have any easy answers for distrust.  But I do have one thing that I know for sure.  Jesus is not bound by our distrust, nor does He find Himself restricted only to those who truly trust.  Jesus is beyond our trust or distrust, and can work even in the lack of trust or the presence of distrust.  That's because Jesus Himself fully knows who we are, and has overcome both Satan and our sinful nature through His life, death, and resurrection. 

That is why we strive to build up trust, and to fight against the things that cause distrust.  And then, when reason for distrust enters in, we strive for reconciliation, as Christ has reconciled us to God through His death and resurrection.  We strive for confession of sin, and for forgiveness of sin to be granted.  When relationships have been torn, we strive to repair those relationships in God-pleasing ways.  And in all of these things, we give thanks to God for His gracious gift of forgiveness.

Conflicted Views

Quite a few of you who read this blog know that I am part of the Lutheran Church Missouri Synod.  This particular church body has been known by this name for around a century and a half in the United States.  It's a church body that strives for an accurate understanding of the truths of the Bible, and then works toward a common practice in bringing that understanding to bear into the world we live in.

As you read that paragraph, you may realize that there is an impossible task that the church body has taken upon itself.  I said that the body strives for an accurate understanding of the truths of the Bible, a word which we call "doctrine."  We aim to arrive at a common understanding of the truths that God gives to us in the Bible.  That alone is a task that simply cannot be accomplished while we still live in this world.  Not only do we believe the teaching (the doctrine) that declares that we are all sinful, and therefore unable to have perfect understanding of the things of God, but we also recognize that not everyone understands the meaning of various parts of the Bible in the same way.  We already find ourselves with an impossible task of discerning those meanings and then coming to agreement on them.

Then, we add another impossible task to the challenge.  We take that group of teachings (doctrines) that we cannot ever fully agree upon, and then we try to apply them into the way we minister to a sinful, hurting world.  This is the "practice" of the ministry of God's Word to the world.  We realize that every pastor and every Christian and every congregation faces unique challenges, even as we also realize that there are challenges that are common to all.  And so, when we work to apply a group of teachings (doctrines) to situations that vary widely (practice), we often find ourselves at disagreement about the right and proper thing to do.

It's a distressing situation, and one that the church body has worked on together for a long time.  It's also a struggle that we would be wise to admit will never come to an end.  Until Jesus reappears and unites all believers into the one holy, perfect, pure Body of Christ in the new creation, we simply cannot arrive at a place of perfect agreement, either on the doctrines or the practices.  We may find that we actually share a great deal in common with one another, but we shouldn't be surprised when we find that we still don't always fully arrive at the same place.

Some of you who read this may not be part of this particular church body.  Shoot, some of you may not even be Christian by your faith.  I don't write this blog entry up as an apology for anything, but simply to shine some light upon things that you may come across in the news, or in various online forums.  It saddens me that the church body I am part of only seems to get national press when negative events come up.  We actually do agree on a significant portion of our teachings (doctrines) and their applications (practices).  We actually do engage in many ventures to share God's grace and mercy with a sinful, hurting world, and seek to speak God's truth into those situations.  We do so knowing that we won't get it perfect, but resting in God's forgiveness through Jesus, and looking to share that same forgiveness into the lives of those we minister to. 

I heard a wise person once say that if you are looking for the perfect church home, you better get used to disappointment.  There is no such thing in this world.  Thankfully, through the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus, we have a connection that will one day come to its full realization, where we will then live forever in that perfect church home.  Until then, we're going to fumble and stumble along the way, and fully relying on God's gift of forgiveness through Jesus.

God's Favor

One of the great things about the Christian faith is that we declare God's favor upon people.  God looks upon the people of this world with a great deal of favor.  God's preferred way of looking at people is according to His favor.  It's only when that favor has been rejected that God looks upon us according to His wrath or anger.  But that's not what God would prefer.  He would rather see everyone receive His favor.

In one respect, there is the kind of favor that God pours out upon every single person who has life in this world.  It's the favor of being one of His created beings.  In that sense, God is the Father of everyone in that He created us all.  From the time we were conceived, God knit us together and formed us.  His hand is the one behind the DNA combinations that formed who we are.  His hand is the one that gently shaped us as we grew from a single sperm and egg into the human beings that we are.

So that's one element of God's favor.  He is our Father as our creator.  But there is also a second kind of favor that God seeks to pour out on the people of this world.  This favor is found in what He accomplished through the cross and resurrection of Jesus.  It's the favor that takes us flawed, sinful human beings and creates a new life, one that is right with God in every aspect.  It's the favor that speaks of the forgiveness of sins, and the restoration of perfection that God intended to be present with His creation from the beginning.

I truly believe that we have times where we tend to limit the kind of favor that we believe God pours out on the world.  There can be times where Christians say that the whole world stands in God's favor, and there are other times where Christians say that only Christians have God's favor.  I see how that can sound kind of confusing, and I believe it's because we fail to distinguish between the two kinds of favor.

God looks upon the world with a universal kind of favor.  It's the favor in which He sees what He has made and rejoices in it.  He wants to see that it is taken care of, and so He provides food and home and family.  It's the kind of favor that is not unique to Christians, but is found throughout all creation, even among those who do not know God or call upon His name.

God loves to pour out His favor on the world.  He does pour that universal favor out.  The thing is, God also wants that more specific favor, found in Jesus' life, death, and resurrection, to be found in all the same places as His universal favor.  So He sends His people, the ones who have received this second favor, the forgiveness of sins and new life, out to all of those who have received His universal favor, with the hope that we will declare that specific favor in their lives as well.

I don't know if you've given much thought to that, but I think it's a distinction that is worth making.  When we properly distinguish God's favor, we can say that God looks upon the whole world with favor, and that God's favor is found among those whom He has redeemed.  We therefore strive to be conscious of which favor we are talking about, then.

How guilty do you feel?

Okay, who ever likes to feel guilty?  I can't think of a single person who really enjoys having their guilt pointed out to them.  I know of a few people that seem to take some kind of joy in pointing out other people's guilt, but usually they aren't really trying to build up the other person.  Instead, the effort seems to be more inclined toward tearing them down in some way.

One fairly significant part of our human nature is that we are all guilty.  Who of us was a perfect child growing up?  Who of us has never told a lie to another person?  Who of us has never said something hurtful to another person?  Who hasn't taken something that didn't belong to you?  At quite a few times in our lives, we inevitably have to feel guilty about some of the things that we do.

For some people, this guilt can be tremendous.  It may have been something that really did bring a great deal of hurt to another person, or that they did something that has negatively affected quite a few people.  The knowledge that such pain came because of their action can create doubt as to that person's ability to ever be forgiven for what they have done.

The funny thing is, God actually wants us to recognize and own up to our guilt.  It's not that He takes pleasure in our suffering, or in seeing us squirm. Rather, God wants us to own up to our guilt and acknowledge it because He wants to take it away from us. He doesn't want it to weigh us down and bother us any longer. He wants it to be forgiven.

That's ultimately what the cross of Jesus is all about.  There, God has forgiven and dealt with your guilt.  It doesn't matter how big or small, how recent or long ago.  It's been taken care of and dealt with, once and for all.  While we may still struggle with the after-effects as long as we live, from God's point of view, our guilt has been dealt with and no longer comes between us.  That's a good thing. 

I'll be talking a bit more about dealing with guilt between ourselves and other people in future posts. But know this for sure. God has forgiven your guilt because Jesus suffered, died, and rose for you.  In God's eyes, your guilt has been forgiven.  That's a reason to give thanks!

Mad at the World

Have you ever had one of those days where you were mad, but you had a hard time figuring out everything you were mad at?  Something one of your friends did or said ticked you off, you got cut off on the road, your neighbor let his leaves blow in your yard, the kids in the neighborhood were being loud, the President interrupted your favorite TV show, the dog knocked over your glass, and a thousand other small things all seem to contribute to a general sense of madness, but you can't really point to one thing as THE thing that you are mad at.

I've noticed this on the part of a lot of people.  They are mad, but they can't really tell you what they are mad at.  It's like a lot of little things have gotten under their skin, and they can't really point to one thing.  And, since they can't find that one thing and deal with it, they just stay mad, not knowing what to do about it.

I find this distressing for a number of reasons.  One of the reasons is that this isn't good for our health, either physically or spiritually.  From a physical standpoint, being mad or angry for extended periods of time lead to things like higher blood pressure, more stress, and causes a great deal of fatigue.  It's hard to stay mad.  It takes a lot of energy and work, and so someone who finds that they are regularly angry often find that they are both mentally and physically tired, but don't know why.

Another thing I find distressing about this is the fact that so many of us have a hard time letting little things go, or moving on past them.  The guy cuts us off in traffic, and for some reason, that sets the tone for the rest of the day.  We just can't seem to get over it.  It comes up in our heads again and again. 

I shudder to think what this does to us spiritually.  It's almost like we have a backpack that we carry around, full of all those little hurts and little things that make us angry, and we never empty it out.  It just keeps getting heavier and heavier.  Every once in a while, it gets so heavy that we just throw it at someone.  You know how that goes.  Someone says something or does something, and suddenly, the dam breaks.  Every bit of stored up anger and hurt comes spilling out, and even afterward, you are surprised at everything that came out.  After all, what they didn't or said wasn't so bad that it deserved all of that, and now, you suddenly find yourself carrying even more guilt and shame.

That's where God has given us a great answer for all of this.  It's called forgiveness.  And let me be very clear on this.  Forgiveness is not just saying that it's okay, and moving on, but still carrying the hurt or the grudge.  Forgiveness is truly letting the guilt go, and not holding it against that person any more.  Forgiveness is saying, "I'm going to treat you as though this incident never happened between us."  It's not forgive and forget, it's more like forgive, remember, but don't hold it against that person.

The reality is, forgiveness is really as much for ourselves as it is for the other person.  Yes, forgiving another person can bring healing to the relationship.  But perhaps just as meaningful, it allows us to let go of the anger, to keep the backpack from getting heavier, and allowing ourselves to see that other person without the hurt and guilt that happened in the past.  In that sense, forgiveness, at least from our human perspective, is a choice to not carry the hurt and anger anymore. 

As my last thought, I believe that this is the reason why our society has such a difficult time with this.  Forgiveness isn't just a one time action, but a manner of life.  When we learn to forgive, we don't just do it for those close to us, but for the guy who cut us off on the road, for the cranky bank teller, for the store clerk who dumped her bad day on us, for the kids who were too loud too late, and for all people who may do something that angers us.  Forgiveness is not so much a one time action as a way of life.

Face to Face

"If you brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone.  If he listens to you, you have gained your brother."  Jesus, in Matthew 18.

I have come to believe that one of the most difficult and challenging things for people anymore is how to handle disagreement.  As a personal note, I grew up and don't recall ever having been taught how to deal constructively with conflict or disagreement, and so I found myself quite often trying desperately to avoid disagreements or conflicts.  It's only over the last few years that I have significantly grown to where I can appreciate talking through conflicts and disagreements, and where I really have a desire to teach others how to do so.

Many of us are probably familiar with the thought of the verse I quoted above.  I think it's also a very fitting thought anytime when two people don't see eye to eye on an issue or topic.  Of course, our natural instinct is to rally support for our side, go talk to others so that they agree with us and prove that the other person is wrong, rather than approaching that person and talking through the issue.  This is natural.  We'd rather have people agree with us than disagree with us.  And yet, as Jesus outlines it, this just isn't the right and proper approach.

Let me ask it in this way.  How can it possibly do any good to talk about the problem you have with one person with others?  It definitely doesn't resolve the problem.  If anything, it causes a greater rift between that person and the other people with whom you have discussed "your side" of the story.  Now, rather than it being a conflict or disagreement between two people, it has instead expanded to include others.

That's why I believe that these words of Jesus aren't merely for the occasion where one person has sinned against another.  It's wisdom for practically every circumstance in life.  Talking ABOUT people rarely does anything beneficial.  Talking TO people, on the other hand, opens the door to greater understanding and, ultimately, to a greater love toward your neighbor.

Thoughts?  Comments?  Agree or disagree?  I welcome them all!

A Thought on Forgiveness

"Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you."  Ephesians 4:32

What is the benefit of holding on to a grudge?  Who does it help out?  For the person who has the grudge against another, every time you think about that person, guess what is probably going to come to mind.  And then, think about what thoughts, feelings, and emotions arise.  Another way of asking this is, how does carrying a grudge improve your life or the situation that you find yourself in?  What happens when you have to have interactions with that person against whom you have a grudge?  Doesn't it take a lot of effort and energy to hold on to that anger?

And then, think of it from the side of the person against whom you have the grudge.  Perhaps they know what they did, and perhaps not.  If they don't know what they did that has angered you, then they are likely confused as to why you seem distant and cold toward them.  If they do know what you did, they may wonder why you can't seem to get past something that happened in the past.  If the grudge persists long enough, they may even decide that your inability to get over it isn't worth continued interaction with you, and they may start to avoid you.

How does any of this bring a benefit to life?  The reality is, it doesn't.  Remembering how someone hurt you in the past, carrying that anger, never getting over their past actions, all of this destroys relationships rather than improving relationships.  And there is, in reality, no way that someone who carries a grudge can be said to be loving to their neighbor, as God has said we are to be to another.

What's the answer?  It's God's best answer to all of our human dilemmas.  It's forgiveness.  When the sin and guilt are forgiven and moved past, relationships are restored.  When two people work through the troubles and difficulties they have, they have a foundation from which to work, a foundation built on forgiveness and on care toward each other.

In Jesus, God has done this fully and completely for us.  Jesus has forgiven every single thing, no matter how large or small, that God could hold as a grudge against us.  We live constantly in that restored relationship.  And what better way is there to show that we have that forgiveness from God than to be forgiving people ourselves?

Is this easy?  No.  There are some hurts and scars that run deep and have left lasting marks.  And yet, as I asked before, what is the benefit to holding on to that hurt?  Is that person likely to change simply because you are angry at them, or because you have chosen not to forgive?  It's no guarantee that they will change if you do forgive them, but perhaps that's where we find that forgiveness may actually be more for our sake than for theirs.  It is not only the way God approaches us, but it can help clear our heads and minds of those things that distract us and draw us away from God and others. 

How big of a role does forgiveness play in your life?  How much do you share it with others around you?

Faith and Life: Dealing with Guilt

Part of the Christian life involves our recognition that God outlines certain things in how we live that are good and beneficial for us, as well as things which serve Him and demonstrate love for Him and love for our neighbor.  Alongside that, we also recognize that there are many times where we fail to do what He says, or even find ourselves not wanting to do them.  In general, it seems that this situation leaves many dealing with a great deal of guilt.

Dealing with guilt in our lives involves two different things in our relationship with God and others.  First, it means that we have to admit (or the "churchy" word we use is confess) that we simply cannot do everything God says and commands and desires, and even, at times, to admit that we don't want to.  (What, love a terrorist as myself?  That's just insane!  But that's what God says.)  Part of dealing with the guilt is to realize what it is that we are feeling guilty about.  So it's a great benefit to us to actually take a little time to reflect and inwardly discover the things that we actually feel guilty about.

(On a side note, another part of this point in the previous paragraph is to know what God says enough to know what we should feel guilty about and what not.  I've heard a lot of people say that God requires things which the Bible does not say, or they deny that God says certain things which are clearly laid out in the Bible.  So an additional point to the previous paragraph is to know the Bible and actually discover what we should feel guilty about in relation to God.)

The second part of dealing with this guilt is to come to an admission to ourselves.  We're not God!  We cannot do everything perfectly.  God did not make us all knowing, or give us such powers as to be able to do everything.  Instead, there are times where we need to admit our limitations.  I know, it's easy to beat ourselves up over something that we really couldn't do anything about, but that is to take the guilt of another onto ourselves, and only Jesus could do that in any kind of meaningful way.

God gave the great gift of forgiveness to help us deal with guilt.  This is also why having a person to go to and confess your guilt and feelings of guilt is such a great thing.  (Incidentally, this is really what a pastor is for!!!)  Not only do we better understand what we are feeling guilty about, but we hear that, in Jesus, God has forgiven that guilt and dealt with it.  It may not instantly change how we feel, but it is God's provided means for taking that burden off of our shoulders and putting it onto the shoulders that have done something about it.

Post # 70: Thoughts on Forgiveness

"Then Peter came up and said to Him, 'Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him?  As many as seven times?'  Jesus said to him, 'I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven.'"  Matthew 18:21-22

I'm not a big numbers guy (ask my wife, who has to keep up our checkbook!).  Yet, there is something to consider with particular numbers throughout the Bible.  And with this being my 70th post, I thought I would focus on this time when Jesus makes use of the number.

It seems that when I teach the younger people about Matthew 18, when we read this section, they invariably want to have a number of times to forgive someone.  I think that's human nature.  We want to know when we have done what is required, or done enough.  We like a hard, fast number to hold to.  If Jesus says forgive seven times, then I'll forgive seven times, but woe for the eighth!

But that is also where numbers take on a greater meaning than their literal figure.  God created the world in seven days, and, yes, I believe that is literal.  Because He did it all in 7 days, that links the idea of completeness to the number.  So when God uses the number 7, quite often He means something is complete.

So think of that.  Peter wants to forgive seven times, and that should be the end of it.  But Jesus says that even that many times is incomplete.  Then He throws in 70.  Now, 70 appears a few times in the Bible, at times to intensify the meaning (see Genesis 4:24), but to also express an idea of completeness (all of Joseph's family, 70 in number, went to Egypt, as one example).  So Jesus intensifies the action of forgiving, going beyond simply bringing it to a point of completion to seemingly wiping it away as though it never existed.  Seven times seventy.  Complete forgiveness, as if it never happened.

Of course, such complete forgiveness isn't going to be possible for us as people who bear grudges and who tend to have long memories.  Only God's forgiveness through Jesus can be that complete.  God has forgiven you seven times seventy, so completely that it is as though that sin never existed.

So what do we do as people who have been forgiven that much?  We strive to be forgiving in our lives.  While we may never be able to forgive as completely as Jesus says here, we strive to be forgiving, just as God has forgiven us through Jesus.  So with this, my 70th post, I hope that you practice much forgiveness in your life, and that you rejoice in God's forgiveness toward you!