In our day and age, we often marvel at marriages that reach 50 years. When we hear about one that lasts longer than that, we are often astounded. This is especially true in the day and age and place in the world we live in. Some daunting statistics (and remember, statistics aren't the end all, but a helpful tool to discover what's going on) indicate that seven out of eight marriages either end in divorce or are places where love is not flowing abundantly, where two people stay together simply because it's easier to do than going their separate ways.
The reasons for this are way too many for me to spell out here. However, there are several primary areas of concern that simply are not being given to people getting married to help their marriage be a lasting vocation. Some of these are the areas of communication, how to deal with conflict, and how to manage the money situation. And I have now been a pastor long enough to know that there is not nearly enough emphasis placed on these when two young people prepare to lock their lives together.
In other words, we really aren't building a lasting foundation for marriages, and therefore, by extension, for families. When two people think the only way to communicate in conflict is to yell at each other, we realize that so many people have let them down by not teaching them a better way to communicate in conflict and come to a resolution.
As Christians, who believe what God teaches about marriage being as long as we live, we really should be highlighting and emphasizing how a couple goes about building a lasting foundation for their marriage. Yet, too often, we wait to play "fire control", dealing with issues when things are falling apart, rather than fighting to prevent those issues from becoming too large in the first place. Far too few churches have rigorous marriage counseling as part of their requirement for the wedding ceremony. Far too few focus on building up and strengthening marriages to help families deal with those things that threaten to separate what God has joined together.
Even though it may not be convenient to those who just want to get married, having them go through a period of learning how to deal with each other in good and in bad would go a long way to creating a lasting foundation. Checking in throughout the marriage to offer help and assistance would help check for the cracks and damages that may take place, and then bring a measure of healing. That's the kind of thing we mean by family ministry. Building a lasting foundation for the things God created to last.
The reasons for this are way too many for me to spell out here. However, there are several primary areas of concern that simply are not being given to people getting married to help their marriage be a lasting vocation. Some of these are the areas of communication, how to deal with conflict, and how to manage the money situation. And I have now been a pastor long enough to know that there is not nearly enough emphasis placed on these when two young people prepare to lock their lives together.
In other words, we really aren't building a lasting foundation for marriages, and therefore, by extension, for families. When two people think the only way to communicate in conflict is to yell at each other, we realize that so many people have let them down by not teaching them a better way to communicate in conflict and come to a resolution.
As Christians, who believe what God teaches about marriage being as long as we live, we really should be highlighting and emphasizing how a couple goes about building a lasting foundation for their marriage. Yet, too often, we wait to play "fire control", dealing with issues when things are falling apart, rather than fighting to prevent those issues from becoming too large in the first place. Far too few churches have rigorous marriage counseling as part of their requirement for the wedding ceremony. Far too few focus on building up and strengthening marriages to help families deal with those things that threaten to separate what God has joined together.
Even though it may not be convenient to those who just want to get married, having them go through a period of learning how to deal with each other in good and in bad would go a long way to creating a lasting foundation. Checking in throughout the marriage to offer help and assistance would help check for the cracks and damages that may take place, and then bring a measure of healing. That's the kind of thing we mean by family ministry. Building a lasting foundation for the things God created to last.
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